How Many Lifetimes?
by Radiorox
Summary: Dreams of loss and death haunt Harm and Mac.  When they realize the dreams are about their past lives together, can this be the lifetime that saves their future?
1. Chapter 1

This is an oldie... 2004ish.. I got an idea that HM were involved throughout multiple lifetimes with similar results - they never get together.

Until a warning is given that this is their last chance... Set after Christmas in S9.

There are things that science and religion can not figure out and it is very romantic to think of someone's soul searching out another's in a quest for love.

**Chapter 1**

**February 12, 1399****England**

It was a bitter cold morning and the usual thick fog was cast into the area. The wind, for once, was still and at the lack of such a force, the sound of argument and clashing steel, echoed down into the hillside where the castle ruins were situated. There two men were wrapped in a heated battle, each step taking them closer to the edge of the cliff. The taller of the two was dressed in gray trousers and a beige long sleeved shirt. His eyes, usually a merry blue green, showed only concern as he looked over at his opponent. The other man was clad in dark black trousers, a burgundy shirt and a black tunic. It was clear from the scene that the taller man was the peasant and the shorter man was nobility.

"You were my friend, and you betrayed me." Richard, the eldest son of the King, unsheathed his sword and pointed the tip towards Michael.

Michael, stood there holding his sword preparing to block the attack. His blue green eyes shadowing the other man. "Nothing happened . . . We only kissed. . . I am not willing to destroy her happiness for my own."

"She is my wife. . . and she loves you." Richard yelled as he lunged at Michael, making him take a few steps back in preparation.

"Richard, please!" By mistake, Michael, the more unskilled of the two, grabbed Richard's sword only to feel it slice through the delicate skin of his palm. "Ah!" His cry of pain only accelerated Richard's need for bloodshed.

Before Michael had a chance to regain his stance, Richard plowed through him, the sword sinking deep into Michael's abdomen. "I bid thee good riddance, Michael." With a menacing sneer, Richard sank the sword deeper and then pulled it out fully, blood dripping off it's tip. Michael lay there in pain, aching and realizing that he was dying and would never get to tell Marie-Ellen how he felt.

As his life slowly slipped away, he remembered meeting her. She was engaged to Richard. Michael, being the local carpenter's son and a friend of Richard, was called upon to create a special piece for the happy couple. He hadn't realized that Marie-Ellen was watching him so intently as he worked, shirtless, trying to turn wood into something beautiful. He'd always been a shy boy and her being at such a close proximity to him, didn't help. Eventually, the two became friends. She would spend most of the day with Michael, watching him create a masterpiece that would become the bed to her bridal chamber. It wasn't long before the two fell in love. Due to his station, he knew that he could never tell her his true feelings and he would not destroy the happy future that she would have with Richard. He managed this very well until the eve of their wedding night when the gift was presented to the couple. Wanting to thank him, Marie-Ellen ventured out to his home. There they shared a very heated kiss. Richard, who followed Marie-Ellen, witnessed the sight and days following his union to Marie-Ellen, called for a duel between he and Michael.

1130 Zulu

Harm's Apartment

North of Union Station

Washington, DC

"Rabb." Harm spoke into the phone, its ringing stirring him from one of the most bizarre dreams he'd ever had. "Wrong number." Hanging up, he lay back down with a long sigh.

What the hell had he been dreaming about? He'd never really cared much about Medieval times let alone dreamt about being a peasant that died in a sword fight. No, if he would be back in that century, he would be the knight in shinning armor that slain the dragon for his princess. Grinning, he tossed the sheets off of him and walked over to his shower. "I need therapy." He mumbled as he let the warmth of the water wash away his thoughts.

1300 Zulu

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

Harm walked into his office to find Clayton Webb sitting on one of his guest chairs. "Step into my office, Webb. . . Make yourself at home." Harm said sarcastically. He was still annoyed at the apparent relationship between the spook and Mac and didn't mind showing it.

"Morning, Harm. . . Long time no see." Standing up, he extended his hand over to Harm who took it unsurely.

Harm nodded. "Haven't seen you since we got back from Paraguay. . . You look well."

Webb smiled. "Nothing I couldn't handle."

Harm slid into his chair. "What can I do you for?"

"I came to pick up the files on the Benedict case. . ."

"What the hell do you need those for?" Harm said, attempting to locate the file on his desk.

Clay stood and walked to the window. "He wants to work for the agency. . ."

"And you need my files in particular? . .Clay, you can get these without coming here." Harm put the file on top of all the others, and opened it up making sure it was the correct folder. "There's something else isn't there?"

Turning, Clay looked blankly out the window. "How's Mac doing?"

Harm immediately caught the tone of Clay's voice and the fact that he called her Mac and not Sarah. "Don't you mean _Sarah_?"

"No, I mean Mac." His voice was bitter and Harm could see the realization when Clay looked over at him. "We haven't talked in a few weeks. . . I don't think you could even call what we did dating. . . her head was always somewhere else." It was a fact that was clear as day. The times when he and Mac had gone out it had been a date between friends. He'd always hoped that something romantic would come out of the situation, but as more time elapsed, he realized there was no such luck. The Marine going out with him still in love with JAG's golden boy.

Harm couldn't stop the grin that spread across his lips at that notion. He handed the file to Clay. "Here ya go." His day had suddenly gotten better.

"Try not to look so smug about it." Clay took the file and headed out of the office, but not before stopping under the door frame and looking back at Harm. "I still think she deserves better than you." Taking one last look towards the glass doors that lead to the bullpen, Clay headed out of JAG ops.

Harm still couldn't manage to wipe the smile away from his lips. Mac was not dating Clay. That was the best new he'd heard since he'd been reinstated to JAG.

"I missed Clay?" Mac said, appearing at Harm's door.

Harm didn't want to let on what he knew. "Yea, wanted some files."

"Oh. Okay then. I'll see you later, Harm." As she turned to leave, Harm took hold of Mac's arm.

"Wait." He couldn't hold back the thoughts going through his head. Even though it wasn't the time or place for such discussions. "You lied to me."

"Lied?" Stepping into his office, she closed the door behind her and leaned against it. "How did I lie?"

Harm smiled. "You told me that you and Clay were dating. . . But you're not."

Mac coyly eyed him, letting an annoyed grin display. "No, we're not."

"But, you told me that you were dating Clay." Harm was closing in on her, his smile widening.

Mac moved her arms across her chest, tucking them under her breasts. "They were friendly dinners, not exactly what you would call a date. . . I did say once we don't talk about you. And you slid that stupid comment about you being our pillow talk."

Harm grinned. "Assume facts not in evidence?"

"Yes counselor." Mac managed to withstand the intense look in his eyes. It had that same predatory sheen that he used when Harm was seducing her in dreams. "Not that I gave you much evidence to go on anyway." Seeing his grin unwavering, she decided to get herself out of the conversation. "May I go now?"

Harm nodded and backed off a bit, still maintaining the intense look. "Yes you may." As she walked off Harm couldn't help but smile. If she wasn't with anyone, he had a chance. Yes, they would have to start all over again but it was something he was willing to go through.


	2. Chapter 2

PART 2

May 21, 1569

Venice

A woman with long brown hair and amber eyes stood before the high counsel. Her clothing, once elegant and a bit brazen were now tattered cloths who's only purpose was to maintain what was left of her dignity. Her crime was a dream. A dream that, once lost by the vows of wedlock, could only be re-enkindled by a mistress. She looked around at the men who once sought her services and betrayed their wives for the dream of love. All of them betrayed her now, with the exception of Lorenzo, the dark haired man with sea green eyes who was held back by two guards.

"Victoria Antonini. The Holy Inquisition has heard the evidence against you and is convinced that you are damned. This court sentences you to be put to death by fire." The Cardinal said, as he slammed his staff into the floor.

"No!" Lorenzo yelled, struggling against the two guards who held him steadfast.

The Cardinal glared at him and continued his speech. "As the Gospel of John commands: 'If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.' Guards, you make take the prisoner to meet her fate."

With the force of a thousand men, Lorenzo managed to shake off his captors and reach Victoria. "I love you. . . Forgive me. . ."

Victoria reached for him, but before they had a chance to kiss goodbye, she was being hauled off by two other guards. "I forgive you, my love." She called to him as she was taken to the scaffold where she stood, gazing out at the townspeople. They once had cherished her presence as if she were a queen. The women had wanted to be her, when they saw the intellect and respect that was given a courtesan. The men who could pay for her services, enjoyed having such an intelligent creature in there possession, if only for an evening.

Lorenzo, who'd been thrown into a cell for his earlier actions, looked on, past the bars that held him, to the woman he would forever love. She was a woman that he could never have completely. As a noble, he was duty bound to marry for his country. From Victoria, he took what he could get, and soon ended falling in love with her and she for him, breaking the one rule that she knew would damn her. Through the months that their love affair flourished, he had become horribly jealous at her other suitors and angrily requested for her to have only him.

From the distance, he saw her turn, her eyes seemed fixed onto his own, it was part of the connection that they held. Then he watched in horror as the women, including Victoria were moved to the pyre and set ablaze. He had pleaded with her time and time again to claim that she was guilty and throw herself on the mercy of the Inquisition. With a plea of guilty, she would be spared as they would attempt to save her soul. But, she could not, and would not deny what she was. With the hopes of saving him and the other men that she took to her bed chamber, she refused a confession and was declared a heretic.

The other women struggled against restraints. Victoria was quiet, her eyes never leaving the cell house that kept Lorenzo away from her. Even as the flames consumed her, she was at peace.

1845 Zulu

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

Mac sat at her desk fighting the need to talk to someone about her recent dream. Yes, she'd had strange dreams before, but this was something completely different. It was as if she were reliving a past life. A past life that she shared with Harm. She wondered if Lorenzo ever made it out of jail or if he perished in the same flames that had consumed Victoria.

Trying to put a reason as to why she would have such an elaborate dream, she didn't realize that Harm was standing under her doorframe. He brought a hand up to his mouth and pretended to be speaking through a radio. "Krrrrrr." He started, trying to fake the sound of static through a radio line. "Ah . . . Lieutenant Colonel MacKenzie, you are safe to come back to earth." Frowning when she didn't notice his attempt at humor, he finally walked into the office and tapped her on the shoulder. "Hey you!"

Mac jumped and turned to face him. "Lorenzo?… I mean Harm." Nervously, she stood up and straightened some of the files on her desk.

He just stood by, giving her his concerned look. "You alright?"

Mac nodded. "Yea, just . . .just was thinking."

Harm smiled. "About what?"

She looked up into his merry eyes, wondering if she could talk to him about it. Then that hurt feeling came to her again. She didn't know where they were and how they were doing. He'd only been back a few months and though, when working on cases, they were civil, she didn't know what would happen if things moved back to a personal level. Not to mention, she did not appreciate the smug look that he gave her once he discovered that her relationship with Clay was non-excitant. For the moment, she knew she had to keep her distance. "Nothing, Harm. . . did you need something?" She saw him wince and noted, a bit late, that her tone with him was very sharp.

"I guess not." Frowning, he turned and began walking out of her office and out the glass doors to his own. He'd been trying to figure out a way to open the lines of conversation. Specifically the conversation that he had tabled once again.

Mac just slid back into her chair, unable to shake that feeling of uneasiness. Each time the scenes from the dream replayed in her mind, it made her tense up. Reluctantly, after an hour had elapsed, she stood and headed into the courtroom for her confrontation with Bud.

Authors note: I got the idea for this past life from watching a movie called Dangerous Beauty. It was supposed to be a huge success, but it lost it's PR when the powers that be found the movie to be about a prostitute in 16th century Venice and not in good taste. It is a gorgeous story nonetheless, about Veronica Franco (It's a loosely based true story.) a woman who had fallen in love with the future senator of Venice but could not have him since she was poor. One of her only choices was to become a courtesan and help support her family. She used her fame as a courtesan to put out her poetry, as she was always fascinated with education and literature.

At the end of the flick, Veronica is tried for being a witch. Supposedly through her witchcraft she was able to lure the men of Venice into her bed chamber. I don't want to ruin the ending for people who haven't seen it. But, if you are into the sappy romance stories, RENT IT!!!


	3. Chapter 3

PART 3

2230 ZULU

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

Yawning, Mac headed into the kitchen and fumbled around the cabinets until she located her mug. "Thank God for coffee." She said to herself as she poured some of the lifesaving liquid.

"Got enough for two?" Turning around, she found Harm standing near the entry, seemingly just as weery as she. "You ok, Mac?"

Nodding, she located his mug and filled it up. "Fine. . . just very tired for some reason."

"Me too. . . lack of sleep. . . Things have been off since I returned." Pouring some creamer into his coffee, he leaned against the opposite counter and looked at Mac who seemed to be searching for the meaning of life in her coffee cup. "Are you alright?"

"Why do you keep asking?" It was sweet that he was concerned about her, however, his attempts were beginning to annoy her.

Shuddering at her recent cold temperament towards him, Harm defensively brought his arms across his chest, after setting his mug on the counter. "Well. . . you don't seem okay. . ." At her lack of a response, he tilted his head slightly, trying to read her eyes. "Is it because of Clay?"

Mac stifled a laugh and looked up at him. "No. . . has nothing to do with Clay. ."

"Then what?" He said, still not letting it go. Something gave him the sinking feeling that he was the reason for her mood.

Mac took a deep breath. "Let's move to my office. . ."

Nodding, he followed her and , after closing the door behind him, Harm slid into a chair. For several minutes, they sat in silence, Mac still staring into her coffee mug. "Well?" Harm said, waiting for her to snap at him.

"Did I even say 'Thank you?'" She said suddenly, catching him completely off guard.

Raising an eyebrow, Harm sat there trying to figure out what she was on about. "Umm . ."

"Paraguay, you saving me. . . did I even thank you?" Frowning, she continued looking into her mug as her fingers fumbled with the handle.

Harm took a breath and slowly shook his head. "You didn't. . . but I know you are grateful."

"It was horrible, Harm." She began, missing the hundreds of moments when they had divulged things to one another that they kept hidden from everyone else. "And I should have gotten therapy for it. . . I mean. . . Hearing Clay scream. . . seeing those two innocent people having their brains blown away by a psychotic. . .The blood on my hands. . . the people we killed." Her face had turned pale as she recounted the images that never really left her.

"Mac. . . I know it's not easy." Harm began, trying to soothe some of the pain she was still in.

"How the hell would you know?!" She snapped at him, jerking her head up to meet his gaze. "You don't know a thing about it! . . You didn't hold your partner who you knew was dying. . . you didn't smell the burning flesh. . . God I swear sometimes I can still smell it. . . Sometimes I wake up screaming because . . . you didn't get there on time." Tears began spilling though she tried to hold them back. For months she had been hiding behind the Marine façade. She was strong, brave, she'd been in war zone, killed for her country. "I am a Marine and I am supposed to get over this and just deal with things. But I can't! Knowing that you had been flying for the same clan that would have left me and Clay to die, it lintensified my nightmares." Rubbing her hands against her eyes, she tried to will the tears to stop, but they didn't. "Damn you."

Standing, Harm immediately came around and wrapped his arms around Mac, holding her tight. She resisted him at first and then just lay against him, letting him comfort her. "I can't say that I know what you went through Mac, but before we met I was once captured. . . drugged and lead to believe that the US had abandoned me because they thought I was dead." Rubbing his hand softly up and down her back, he recalled one of the worst times of his capture. "I wasn't tortured like Clay was, but by using some strange drugs, they tortured me the way that they knew would affect me the most. . . they made me believe that my father was locked up in a cell under mine."

"I'm sorry that happened to you." Mac moved away from him and looked up to meet his eyes. "The more I thought about it, the happier I was that you weren't with me down there. . . I couldn't handle seeing you the way that Clay was. . ." Wrapping her arms around him, Mac held him tight. "God, why didn't I listen to you? I shouldn't have gone."

Harm touched her face lightly, brushing off the tears. He tried his best to will his own tears from spilling. "It's getting late, how about we get out of here? Maybe to go dinner?"

Mac nodded. "I'd like that."

After grabbing their covers and belongings, the two officers made their way out of JAG ops.

For dinner they chose a quiet restaurant and the quiet dark corner that was usually reserved for lovers wanting to spend some time alone. Instead, best friends occupied the space talking about experiences during their Paraguayan adventure. They touched upon all aspects except the one dealing with their personal feelings for eachother.

"There was blood in the clasp and he just. . . well almost just shrugged it off as if it were a normal occurrence." Mac said, remembering a few of the moments with Clayton Webb.

Harm couldn't help but cringe at the thought of some of the things that Mac had gone through. "Maybe if I had gone with you?"

"I thought about that a few times. . ." She said, running her finger around the brim of her water glass. "You and I know each other well enough. We know each other's moves." Sighing she shook her head. "But no matter what things would have gone sour."

"Maybe. . . maybe not." Harm said, reaching his hand across the table and taking hers. "We're Batman and Robin."

"Butch and Sundance." She corrected, smiling at this rare tender moment. "I did miss you, you know."

"Did you?" He asked in a surprised voice. He wasn't exactly sure what happened that night, but while he was busy playing therapist with Mac, they had regained the trust and understanding that had been brutally put down by a cab stand in Paraguay.

Mac nodded shyly. "I was worried about you. . . And when I saw you land that C-130. . . I tried to but couldn't help but smirk."

Harm laughed slightly at imagining Mac trying to stop her lips from curling into that MacKenzie smirk he loved so much. Loved? Yes, loved. He loved everything about her. Sighing, he shook that thought off. First, he'd get their friendship going in the right direction, then, if there was still a shred of hope, he could try for something more. "I'm sorry I didn't return your calls, Mac. . . I was."

"Upset." Mac finished his sentence. "I was a bitch to you."

Harm shrugged. "I could have been more tactful."

"I thought you were pretty tactful when you called me beautiful back in Ciudad del Este." She said in a low voice, her gaze going between the table cloth and to his eyes.

Harm smiled. So things weren't as bad as he thought. "I meant it then."

"And now?" She decided to see just how many buttons she could push on him.

"And now. . . you're still beautiful." Slowly leaning across the small table, he was going to try and kiss Mac, but, instead he was cut off by his cell phone.

Mac shook her head and laughed. "Never the right time?"

"Rabb." Harm brought his finger up and indicated it would be just a minute. "Mattie. . . Shouldn't you be in bed?"

Mac tried not to listen to the conversation, but it was impossible to do.

"Yea, I went over the paper work. . .there are a lot of discrepancies. . . I am going to try and find sometime to go over the taxing information. . . not this weekend I am swamped. . . yes. . . okay, you go to bed and I'll see you soon. . . Night, bye." Sighing, he tucked the phone back into his breast pocket and looked up at a confused Mac.

"I uh, guess I should explain?" He said, reaching across the table to take her hand again.

Mac put her other hand over his. "Only if you want."

"I want to." Harm said and began going through the recent activities in his life regarding Mattie Grace.


	4. Chapter 4

PART 4

The fireworks led the way to the palatial-like home of the Martin family. Nicholas, the eldest son, had managed to slip away from the festivities, followed by Beth Roberts.

"Do you love her?" Beth's brown eyes looked up to meet Nicholas' blue green eyes.

Sighing, he stepped away from her. It was his engagement party and rather than being with his wife to be, Nicholas chose to be with Beth. The two had somehow ended up in the gardens walking through the labyrinth that stood proudly on his family's property.

"Answer me." Beth demanded as she reached out and stopped Nicholas from moving farther away from her.

He crossed his arms and looked down at her, annoyed with the turn the conversation had taken. At first it was to reminisce about the path that history took with them two at the helm. They'd known each other since they were children and somewhere along the way, Nicholas had fallen in love with Beth. She'd always seemed to be oblivious to his advances. One night he broke down and tried to conquer Beth's heart. He was left with nothing more than confusion and heart ache. That was when he decided to court Ellen. If he couldn't be happily in love with Beth, then he was going to have to be happy in learning to love Ellen. "What is it that you want?"

Beth closed the gap between them. "What I want most is to never lose you."

"You aren't going to lose me." He knew he was lying to her. How could two women that hated each other ever be friends? He knew that Ellen stomached Beth only for his sake, but that would eventually change.

She took his hand once they arrived at the end of the labyrinth. "You have someone that will always love you."

"And you have someone that loves you." Once his eyes locked on hers, he knew there was no turning back. Leaning in, he kissed her. It was supposed to be a friendly kiss but ended up being passionate and heated. It was Nicholas who pulled away and stared at Beth with a bewildered expression. So this is what it was like to kiss Beth Roberts.

"We're getting too good at saying goodbye." Nicholas said, his hand still holding on to Beth's.

Beth was speechless. All she could do to stop herself from breaking down was to look away from his intense gaze. Even then, she felt his radiating heat. She wanted to be consumed by him, devoured, cherished . . . loved. But she lost the chance to be Mrs. Nicholas Martin and she would never get that chance back.

At her lack of response, Nicholas realized that everything ended. Sadly, he walked away from her not realizing that Ellen had watched their "goodbyes" from the balcony directly above them. Not more than ten minutes passed before he heard the sounds of an argument emanating from the gardens.

When Nicholas arrived, he found Ellen and Beth in some sort of argument. Beth was trying to keep calm but Ellen was shouting obscenities at her. The guests of the engagement party were all outside watching the "battle" take place. When Nicholas rushed over to break the two up, he didn't notice Ellen unsheathe a dagger, but he felt as the point of the blade went straight through his abdomen, doubling him over.

Ellen stood by, frozen by the sight before her. Nicholas was bleeding heavily and Beth, always the one person who he could count to be by his side, was holding him. Her soothing words made him forget the pain and the world around him. It was the least that she could do for him. In reality she would do so much more. "Nicholas, I need you to know something." She said, between the tears that were spilling from her eyes and onto him. Beth closed her eyes and held tighter to his still form. "I love you." But it was their last chance and right there, Nicholas slipped away forever. He didn't hear her words.

1920 Zulu

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

Harm knew how much Mac hated people barging in through her office door, but he was too tired to remember formalities. "Mac, I need to talk to you."

"Don't you knock?" She was going to tease him about it, but caught the worried look on is face. "Sit down."

Harm nodded. "Thanks." Dinner the night before had helped them talk about a few of the things that had been bothering the both of them since their South American trip. Through more things needed to be said, Paraguay was the main thing that needed to be put to bed. After dinner, they went to the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, the two of them spoke about the Singer case, Harm's time in the brig and Mattie Grace. The only thing that wasn't touched was the tabled conversation about their relationship. They both figured that was something that would take more than one evening to resolve. Mac was hoping he would bring it up and, truthfully, Harm was scared to death to even start.

Taking a deep breath he just stared at her, not sure where to begin. She'd told him in Paraguay that she was superstitious but didn't let on, hopefully that was the truth.

Mac just looked back at him. "Well? What's wrong?"

"Do you ever have strange dreams that make you think there is a reason you had them?" He blurted out.

Mac shrugged. "Sometimes, I guess." Sometimes in her own dreams, she would see him in other forms but it was still him. He was always there. If the word "soulmate" had a meaning, it was for her and the man sitting across from her now. If only he would realize the same thing.

"Ok, good. . .because I keep having these . . ." He paused, trying to find a tactful way to tell Mac that he was probably losing his marbles.

"Dreams?" She finished for him and took a breath. "I have too. . and uh. . . you're in all of them." She said shyly.

Harm looked around, seemingly nervous. She was dreaming of him and he was dreaming of her. There was some story here and one that they needed to sort out. Suddenly, Harm had a sense that something was very very wrong. "We need to talk then."

"Yes we do." Mac agreed. "Come to my place tonight around nine."

"I haven't been there in a while." He said with a smile.

Mac returned the smile and sighed happily. "Well you are welcomed to drop by at anytime."

PART 5

0315 Zulu

Mac's Apartment

Washington, DC

"You're fifteen minutes late, squid." She said, opening the door and taking the bag of take out of Harm's hands.

Harm shook his head. "Would you rather that I be early with no food or late with food?"

Walking over to her table, she placed the bag down and rummaged through it. "Hmm. . . good question. . . I'll take the latter."

"I figured as much." Taking off his coat, Harm made it into her kitchen, grabbing plates and two glasses. Mac followed and grabbed two Coke's from her fridge.

Settling down, Harm pulled out all of the contents of the bag and slid two of the cartons over to Mac. "Noodles and Beef for you. . . Veggies and Tofu for me."

Mac made a face when he mentioned the word "tofu." Happy to have a good meal in her system, she opened up the cartons and spilled some of the contents onto her plate. "Dunno how you eat that stuff but let's make a deal from here on out."

Harm took a bit of his food and nodded. "I'm listening."

"You don't poke fun at my grease covered junk food and I won't poke fun at your health nut craze." Reaching her hand across to him, she smiled when he took it. Another deal had been made. "And I know you'll keep that promise."

Harm nodded. "I will." Opening both of their Cokes, he poured the contents into each of their glasses. "So, in order to save time. . . where should we start this convo?"

"You approached me about the dreams, so I think you should go first." She didn't mind putting him in the spotlight. Admittedly, she didn't know where to start. It wasn't uncommon for her to have some strange dreams. It was even less uncommon for her to dream about Harm, but she felt something in the last dream that felt all too real.

"Well." He began, swallowing a bit of food. "The first one was weird." Noting his comment, he paused a moment and shook his head. The first one? Try both of them. "Okay. . . well they both were weird. . . You weren't really in the first one. . . It was more like memories."

Mac raised her eyebrows. "Care to clarify?"

"It was. . . Medieval times or something. I was a peasant named Michael and was in a sword fight with a noble named Richard"

She was surprised at this. If Harm was in medieval times, he would surely be the knight in shinning armor. "Funny, I pictured you more as the knight slaying the dragon to get the princess or something."

"Me too. . . What's really weird is that I, uh. . . Michael was fighting . . . Umm. . . Richard who was Mic." He looked away from her as he mentioned the name. When she didn't say a thing about it, he looked up at her, feeling sorry that he even brought up this discussion. "I'm sorry, Mac."

"No, it's fine. . . not like we can actually control what we dream. . . Go on." She urged as she took a few bites of her food.

After sipping more Coke, Harm cleared his throat. "Okay. . .We were sword fighting and Richard is yelling to Michael something about his wife loving him. . . I. . I mean Michael gets stabbed by Richard and as he is dying he recalls meeting Marie-Ellen. . . You." Harm said, taking a breath. "And he dies."

"Marie-Ellen? Marie-Ellen." Mac said, trying to see if that name made her feel anything. "Can't say I see myself as a Marie-Ellen, but I am open for suggestions. . . What about the second dream?"

Grinning, Harm continued. "Well that one sort of mirrored something that did happen not that long ago. . ."

Mac watched him fight his thoughts as he tried to formulate a way to put things. "Okaaay. . ."

"During your engagement party." Harm said, unsurely, noticing that she was going to let him continue. "Okay. . . Beth Roberts and Nicholas Martin. . . that is who we were. He was getting married and she was talking to him. . . trying to figure if he loved Ellen . . or well.. Ellen was Renee." Pausing for a moment, he decided it was better to just spill everything out. "Beth and Nicholas kiss after she says something about never wanting to lose him. . . Ellen saw the kiss and she and Beth fight. Nicholas gets stabbed by Ellen and Beth is the one that stays by him as he dies."

"That's twice that you died." Mac said with a frown. Even during the times when she was purely angry at Harm, she never wanted to see him dead. That would have been too much for her to bare.

Harm nodded. "And twice that I felt some connection to the dream. . ."

Stretching, Mac leaned back into her chair. "I was a . . ." Sighing she took a breath and blushed as she recalled exactly who and what she was in her dreams. " . . . a courtesan. . . you know like a umm. . . high paid prostitute."

His eyebrow raised questioningly at the notion. Mac a prostitute? Never. "A prostitute? I find that hard to believe."

"Well. . ." Mac shrugged and continued. "She was in the inquisition tried as a witch for bewitching the rich men. But there was one guy named Lorenzo that she had an affair with and they apparently remained close." Close wasn't the appropriate words. They had been lovers and even in her dream Mac could sense the otherworldly intimacy between them. "She was burned to death."

Harm held his breath. "So you died. . . and Lorenzo was me?"

Mac nodded. "Yea."

"I don't get this. . . I really don't." He said, after remaining silent for a few minutes. If it wasn't because I was so difficult to believe, he would continue his thought of them being past lives. But things like that weren't possible, were they?

"At the risk of sounding totally ludicrous. . . Maybe we ARE remembering past lives?" Mac said, sitting up straight on the chair.

"But why? And why are both of us going through it?" He was a firm believer in the fact that things happened for a reason. What the reasons were, sometimes he never knew, but it was better than believing that people lived day in and out in a mundane existence.

"I don't know, Harm"

Angrily, he stood up and paced. "Well. . . I need to find out."

Remaining silent, she just looked at him. Though she'd seen Harm angry before, his current look worried her. He looked like a madman on the verge of going over the edge. "Harm. . ." She said cautiously and watched as his figure slumped back into the chair. "Why is this so important? And give me the truth."

"Because things aren't over between us, Mac. . . there are things that we've recently said in friendship and even in anger and makes me believe that our time hasn't passed." Harm watched Mac for a moment, he'd apparently left her speechless. "Please tell me that I am not the only one amazed that, even when things are against us, we find a way back to each other. . .that is just surreal."

Mac opened her mouth to speak, but it took her a few moments before her brain could formulate anything. "I. . . well, yea it's. . . strange I guess." Stammering, she managed to ask a question that had been looming over her since he walked back into JAG ops. "What do you want from me?"

"You. . . just you." He said quickly, not even hesitating one moment. He'd gone over lines in his mind for months. Something inside of him kept a shred of hope alive. Even when it was ludicrous that he was still thinking of Mac in a romantic fashion, he kept some belief that there was something more. She may have wanted to call it quits, but he would sit back and wait for the right time to give it a go again. "I want you, Sarah. . . This might not be the time, or place, hell, it may not be the lifetime, but I want you. . . and I don't want to wind up like Nicholas or Michael. . . I don't want to lose you." He didn't realize the tear streaming down his cheek, until he moved forward to brush away her own. She too moved her hand over his face and brushed away the tear that had slid out.

Mac shivered at having him so close to her personal space. For a moment, they both sat like that, close to another. Their hands had slid down and Harm was holding hers in his own. She drowned in his sea green eyes, realizing that, the secret to Harmon Rabb Jr. had always lied there. Why didn't she read that from him that night in Paraguay? Parting her lips, she waited in anticipation for the kiss that they were going to share a night earlier.

Harm too was drowning in Mac. His eyes maintaining a vigil over her chocolate depths. Softly he brushed his lips against hers and felt a thrill when she didn't push away. Just as softly, he placed his lips fully on her own and the memories of a night lost on the Admiral's porch vanished only to be replaced by a new sensation.

Mac deepened the kiss brushing a bit harder against his mouth. She parted her own as she felt his tongue request entrance. Once it received clearance, he timidly moved closer to her as their tongues dueled in an ancient dance designed to carry it's participants away.

"God if this is a dream, please don't let it end." Mac said, with her head thrown back and eyes closed. He was now kissing her neck, seemingly intrigued by a particular spot that caused her to shiver all over.

Grinning he stopped and looked at her as she slowly opened her eyes. "I was thinking the same thing." Harm said softly and then resumed his musings on that spot on her neck.

Mac sighed happily into his mouth as they were kissing again, each time bringing the fire into a roaring inferno.

Standing up, Harm stood Mac up and effortlessly picked her up and carried her into the bedroom. She was completely lost in him by the time that she realized he had laid her down on the bed. Between kisses, Harm had managed to pull her shirt off and with three quick motions, slid the jeans off her body.

Pulling himself from her, he stood up and took off his own shirt and pants. Before returning to her, he stopped for a moment and watched Mac. She was so sexy and so very beautiful as she lay in her bed wearing a black lace panty and bra set.

Sighing she looked up at him and saw the smirk that graced his lips. A moment later, her arms were wrapped around him as his mouth searched for her own. Breaking away slightly she looked into his eyes. "Make love to me." She stated, making it sound like a cross between a request and down right pleading.

Harm didn't say a word, he merely acted by loving her body with his own.

Mac was on fire as she felt Harm place soft kisses down her neck. He brought his mouth down over her left breast, still covered in fabric, and began sucking. He felt her nipple harden and took delight in hearing Mac groan as he swirled his tongue over the fabric, around her nipple. She ran her hands through his hair holding him down to her. "Oh God, Harm!" Mac said, when Harm bit down softly.

Grinning, he moved his hands to her sides as Mac raised off the mattress allowing Harm to unclasp her bra. With two fingers, Harm snapped it lose, his mouth on her neck, nibbling. As the fabric came off of her body, Harm cupped her breasts, running his thumbs back and forth over her nipples. He loved the way that her body reacted to him. He loved seeing the goose bumps all over her.

Harm's hands continued the exploration on Mac's body as he removed the last piece of fabric off her waist and to the floor. He settled his body next to hers and looked deeply into Mac's eyes as his hand moved down between her breasts. His hand kept trailing down over her abdomen, her belly button and right above her mound where Harm stopped. Seeing her eyes close and her head thrown back in anticipation, he saw that as the acceptance that he needed. Harm moved his hand between Mac's thighs. His index finger brushed over her clit making Mac gasp. He continued his brushing until he felt her bud become erect. Then, his finger started rubbing at Mac's clit softly at first and then with more fervor as she responded to his touches. Harm watched at the expressions on her beautiful features. He moved his hand fully over her and inserted one finger into her while his thumb continued rubbing her swollen bud.

Biting her bottom lip, Mac felt her body start to tense up for the oncoming orgasm. It came a few seconds later in a series of staccato cries as Harm brought her over the edge. Seconds later, Harm parted her thighs and kneeled between, positioning himself. While Mac was still enjoying the tingling sensations over body, Harm slid deeply into her eliciting yet another gasp.

Mac's eyes were instantly open and greeted by Harm's intense sea-green gaze. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down kissing him in ways that she hadn't with anyone before. It was then that he began thrusting in such a tantalizing way that her body was soon ready to go over the edge yet again. And she came nearly four times more before their coupling was concluded.

Harm held on to the sheets bellow them as he slid in and out of her and then held on as he exploded in his own climax. They stayed connected for quite a while longer before Harm untangled their bodies and lay next to Mac, spooning her against him. It felt so right for them to be together. But, the fates were already planning their next move against the lovers.


	5. Chapter 5

PART 6

Snow had blanketed the US's capital city, yet, through the heavy flakes anyone could see the candle burning bright at the window of the Marshall home. Every night, Jane, the only child of the family would light the candle as a vigil to her husband to be. Luke Elliot followed in his fathers footsteps and the footsteps of the Elliot men before them. It did not take the Elliot family by surprise when he had chosen to work for the government. It was Truman's promise of an elite organization called the CIA that had picked up Luke's curiosity the most. Having a stellar record, he found that the agency was interested in him as well. And, in 1947 he had become the newest member of the team.

It was at that very time that he and Jane Marshall had met. It was one of the typical balls that followed the socialite times in DC. She was the daughter of senator Julius Marshall and he, being of a very wealthy and regarded family was urged to dance with the young woman. Luke had often had his charms used as a temporary suitor for many women, but this time, it was different. He found himself falling madly in love for Jane and she for him.

A few short years later, when he was sure he could make a home for the two of them, he'd asked her to marry him. The wedding was to be set in early December 1951, but "business" carried him away from home.

"Take this." He'd told her, the night before he left. "It's a candle that I had especially made for the wedding. . . now you can use it. . .keep it lit on your window and it will be a beacon to bring me home to you." Looking into his eyes, Jane saw everything that she wanted come to life. It was difficult but, she managed to let go after they kissed goodbye. Ever since that evening, she kept the candle lit.

Then, on Christmas eve, she suddenly became very cold. She'd spent most of the day in bed, trying to shake an uneasy feeling. Later that evening, her world came to an end as news came to her that Luke had been murdered and his body was being sent home. She was crushed beyond belief. Promises of a life together were broken into pieces and she never loved again.

1300 Zulu

Mac's Apartment

Georgetown

Waking from the newest collection of oddities that she called dreams, Mac noticed something different about her sleeping arrangement. She'd become so accustomed to sleeping alone that it nearly frightened her to feel Harm's soft breathing against her skin. Opening her eyes, she met his own. Breathing a sigh of relief she saw that the events from the night before were very real. They'd finally made love and her flyboy was amazing. Her flyboy. She smiled at that idea. He'd always been her flyboy, he just didn't know it. Well, last night she had showed him.

He'd been awake for nearly an hour when Mac's eyes met his own. "Good Morning." He said with a smile, realizing that she looked even more gorgeous after a night of love making.

Stretching in his arms, she leaned her head against his chest. "Mmmm. . . Yes it is." Harm played with her hair as they lay together. Everything about them seemed right and natural. Mac was more than relived to find it not to be one of those awkward morning afters.

Yet, she wasn't looking into Harm's eyes. She didn't see the confusion there nor the pain. If everything felt so right to him, then why did he believe they had made such a big mistake?

In the minutes that they lay together, Harm closed his eyes and his mind took him back to the dreams they'd admitted to having. What if they were a warning against their demise? What if they'd already set the wheels in motion by making love? Sighing deeply, he tried to shake his mind off the subject, but something wouldn't let him. If everything felt right, why did he have the urge to break things off? Sadly, he moved out from under Mac and headed to the bathroom.

"Something wrong, Harm?" Mac said softly, bringing the sheets up to her chest as if she were covering her vulnerability.

Harm peaked out from the bathroom and smiled at her. "Nope . . . Just that you mentioned something once about men you slept with making you breakfast. . . so I am going to take you out to breakfast."

Mac grinned. "I see. . and by the way. . . I said men I spent the night with. I said nothing about sleeping with them."

Harm quickly whipped the smile off his face. "Ah. . . sorry."

"Oh, no worries. . . I'll just kick your six all over the courtroom on Monday." She said, walking into the bathroom and stepping into his shower.

Harm chuckled. "I look forward to it, Colonel."

1400 Zulu

Mac smiled at Harm as they were sitting together having breakfast. They'd been discussing their ex-es.

"Renee was too. . ." Harm began, not sure what words to use. He'd been trying to get that feeling of despair out of him. It wasn't working.

"Annoying?" Mac supplied before her brain caught up with her mouth. "Sorry."

Harm raised his eyebrows and chuckled. "Pushy. . . I mean she was talking about the future even after a couple of dates."

Nodding, she took a sip of her coffee and began to butter her toast. "A friend of mine at university had a similar problem, he ended up having to have a restraining order taken out against the woman."

"So you are saying I needed a restraining order?"

Mac shook her head, men were so stupid sometimes. "No. . . just. . never mind."

"I figure I should be more hurt that she went off with that mortician. . .It was like boom. .". Shrugging he softly clapped his hands and whistled, zipping one hand off the other like a jet. "She's married and having kids."

Mac raised an eyebrow. "Did that surprise you?"

"No, she always wanted the family life. . .but a mortician?" Harm made a face. It's not that he didn't want her to be happy, but from a mortician was just creepy.

"Awww. Come on it's an honest job." Chuckling, she reached across the table and softly slapped the top of his hand.

Harm didn't smile. He only sat there, thinking back to all of the women in his life. "Why is it that all the women in my life have some association with death?"

"And all the men I've been with are dead or wish they were." She said, wistfully, suddenly not liking the way the conversation was going.

"Yea." He'd thought about him becoming the next victim or her becoming his next victim. Either way, it wasn't pretty.

Nodding, he went through his equation again. That he could figure, in most of the dreams he had died. But, in that one dream Mac had, where they were lovers, she died. While Mac slept in his arms, his mind was running on overdrive, trying to find something that he might have missed. "Maybe that is why the dreams are happening. . . what if they are suggesting for us not to get together. . . or if it's a suggestion that we are going to end up. . .maybe as a tragedy?"

After about thirty seconds for her to process what he had just said, she looked up at him. "You don't know that." No, no, Flyboy, not now. She wanted to scream to him.

"Maybe we already set the wheels in motion by sleeping together Mac?" He said, getting money out to pay the check.

Mac frowned and looked up at him. "I wouldn't trade last night for anything in the world, even my own life."

Harm took his breath and held it a bit longer than necessary. "I wouldn't either." He said in a low tone, staring at his glass of water.

"So what are you getting at?" She was annoyed, very annoyed. What was it with him?

"I think we should take it very slow until we figure this out." His voice was low, and not very audible.

"You are making a big deal out of some stupid dreams." Yes, it had occurred to her that they were a bit more lifelike than other dreams, but it was no reason for them to break it off unless he truly didn't want to be with her.

They sat there for a few minutes, until the waitress came back with their change. When they headed outside and he opened the door for her, she just looked at him. She wanted him, now, forever. Why did he always have to push her away. For that matter, why did they have to push each other away.

"What if it isn't a nightmare Mac? What if it . . .damnit. What if something is going to happen?" He said, looking at her. When she didn't respond right away, he put the car in reverse and sped out of the parking lot.

"If you think that way, you are attracting things to happen." She pointed out, trying to find a method to stop his madness.

"But that dream you had those visions that helped you solve that case with Sturgis"

"Harm, stop making me out to be a mystic. . . I am not I can't even control it half the time" She said angrily. She never knew how or why she did what she did. But it had helped her with Harm, Chloe and even that case with Sturgis. Still, the times were few and far between.

"But we have a connection you can't deny. . . You found me in the middle of the Atlantic, and how is it that I always know where you are?"

"Not always, Commander, you didn't know whether or not I was with Clay." She said with a smirk.

Harm frowned. "Because I didn't wanna know."

Mac took a deep breath. The subtle approach with him wasn't going to work. "Harm you can't do this. . . You pushed me away for far too long to spend ONE night together and you push away again." Her words stung the both of them and so did the realization of what his intention was. "You're breaking up with me?" It came out in a choked whisper.

"I have to." He said, softly as he pulled up to her building.

"Then why sleep with me? Why pile up more into our emotional train wreck?" Getting out of the car, she made it up the stairs, tears streaming down her face. Harm ran after her, but she slammed the door before he had a chance to get another word in.

Reluctantly, after several minutes had passed, he went home.


	6. Chapter 6

PART 7

Two Days Later

1400 Zulu

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

The weekend had been horrible. He'd tried calling to explain, but she didn't want to talk. She couldn't, not after what happened. She loved him so much that it hurt. It broke her in two to know that they'd finally made love, only to be pushed away from him again. If she ever found the cosmic power that always seemed to rip them apart, she was determined to choke it to death. That weekend she realized that there was only one way to put things between her and Harm to rest, she'd leave JAG.

"Mac, we need to talk." Harm said, standing under the frame of the kitchen entry.

Taking her mug of coffee, she poured herself a cup and shook her head fiercely. "No more talking. . .I am tired Harm, I really am. . .just when I think I've gotten over you. . . or started to get over you. . . Never mind. . . it's not worth talking about it only shows that I am a typical, naive female that always is duped by the lying lips of men." She stood in front of him. "Move, Commander."

Hot on her heels, Harm walked after her. "Wow, that was a bit harsh. . ."

She turned and eyed him. "Wasn't it? . . . It was much better than taking another blow from you. . . cos honestly, I can't take it. . ."

"Mac you are blowing this out of proportion!" He said, as they entered the bullpen. Suddenly everything around them came to a screeching halt.

"Our of prop. . . OUT of proportion? . . ." She said, a bit louder than she should have. "Commander Rabb, do you even think before you speak? You seduced me! What is worse, I allowed you to. . . and then, after a few conversations you decide to call it quits and blame it on a dream you had. . . Harm, get real, not even a psychic would believe you." She turned to try and enter her office, but he managed to step in front of her.

"And what if my theory is true Mac?"

"Well, we're going to find out eventually aren't we?" Walking around him, Mac made it into her office.

"I don't want to lose you. . . I need you." He moved forward and tried to bring her into his arms.

Stepping away from him, she walked over to her window and looked out. "Well, you have a funny way of showing it. . . sleep with a girl, give her a lame excuse and then push her away. . . At least you didn't leave me in my bed alone."

"I wouldn't have been able to do something like that to you. . ."

"Harm. . . just go. . Please. . . this is painful enough and I need to prepare for a meeting with my client."

Nodding, he slowly made it out of her office. "I care for you more than you know. . . more than I can tell you. . . That is why I am doing things. . . Because I can't let us end up like we did before."

When she turned around, he was gone.

1801 Zulu

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

By Friday, things had gone completely out of control. Both Harm and Mac were taking cheap shots at each other both in court and even when speaking in front of their friends. It came down to a near-brawl when Mac had gone out alone to interview a client. Harm had needed to head to Blacksburg and she figured it would be a favor for him so that he could spend time taking care of Mattie.

"How the hell could you?" Harm said walking fully into Mac's office, not even bothering to close the door.

Mac looked up at him and raised her eyebrows in confusion. "What's your problem?"

"You interviewed him without me! Just because you think the Admiral made you first chair does not give you the damned right to go off without me, Colonel." Harm yelled at her, ignoring for the moment that everyone in the bullpen had been watching their latest feud.

"Harm I was only trying to help. You had to go see Mattie. . ."

Harm moved farther into the office. "You keep sticking your nose in things that aren't your damned business, Mac!"

"Colonel MacKenzie, Commander Rabb, my office NOW." The Admiral yelled standing outside of Mac's door. Scuttlebutt about Harm and Mac's actions in the bullpen earlier in the week, had finally made its way to AJ Chegwidden. He tried to brush them off, but, by now, was tired of having his staff disrupted.

Both nodded and made their way into his office standing at attention before their CO's desk. "What the HELL is going on out there?"

"Nothing sir." Harm said, and Mac repeated the same thing less than a second later.

"SOMETHING is going on. . and I am FED UP with the two of you." AJ said, closing in on both of their personal spaces. "There is a reason why I told you two not to get too close. . . didn't I make myself clear?"

Harm and Mac looked at each other and then back at their CO. "Sir. . . the Colonel and I. . ."

"Are going to therapy together." AJ finished for him and watched his two senior officers exchange looks.

"Therapy, sir?" Mac finally said, a bewildered expression on his face.

AJ leaned against his desk and brought his arms across his chest. "Meredith pointed out some time ago that the moment you two realize what is going on things for me would be calmer."

"Sir, I don't . . ."

"I know something is going on between the two of you. . . however, I don't divulge into my people's personal lives until it starts to affect the lives of everyone here. . ." Walking around his desk, he took a folder and handed it to Mac. "You two are to report to Dr. Elizabeth Sanchez's office within the hour."

"Sir, but work. . . " Mac began to protest.

"Can wait until Monday. . . dismissed." The Admiral said, happy to get the number of a couple's therapy counselor from Meredith.

"Permission to stay behind and speak privately to the Admiral." Mac said, still standing at attention.

Harm looked at them and made his way out of the office.

"What's on your mind, Colonel?" AJ said, sitting on the top of his desk.

Mac sighed. "I need you to change my designator, reassign me, do what you have to do to get me out of DC, sir."

AJ sat there for a moment, bewildered with her request. He really didn't think that things had gotten that far. "Is that really necessary?"

Mac nodded. "Yes, sir. . . I believe it is. . . Things between the Commander and I have gone out of control. . . I believe it is in my and your best interest to split us up. . . permanently."

"I respect your wishes, Colonel and I certainly do not want you to be at a place that isn't going to make you happy. . ." AJ looked at her and frowned. "Wait until after the session to see if that is what you really want."

Mac sighed. "With all due respect, sir. . . that session isn't going to change a damned thing."

AJ nodded and held back the need to get them both in there and make them get along. They'd made him feel like a kindergarten teacher trying to get two kids to kiss and make up. "I'll start writing the papers up as soon as I find a place that is worthy of your talents, Colonel. . .now if that is all. . .Dismissed."

"Aye sir. . . thank you sir." She said, before executing a perfect about-face and leaving his office.

Taking a deep breath, AJ watched her leave feeling hopeless about their situation. For years he'd seen the looks the two had given each other. He'd witnessed how they both selflessly protected the other even in the face of death. For years he'd been waiting and watching the two senior officers dance around each other but never together. "God help them." He said, wishing he could do something more.


	7. Chapter 7

PART 8

2330 Zulu

Dr. Elizabeth Sanchez's Office

Washington, D.C.

"This is your fault, Commander." Mac spat at him, as they walked into the elevators that led to Dr. Elizabeth Sanchez's office. They probably would have argued in the car, but both chose to drive themselves to the appointment.

Harm punched the floor number button angrily and turned to her, crossing his arms. "And how is that?"

"You are the jerk that decided to go off at me. Telling me I keep sticking my nose into things that aren't my business… Did you ever thing I was trying to help you?" She leaned against the opposite side of the elevator, holding to her cover for dear life.

"No. . .because ever since I came back to JAG you barely acknowledge my existence. . . you barely said hi when I walked in through the doors!" He moved to his side of the elevator and punched the button again to try and speed the machine up.

"Because I didn't know what to say! The last time we spoke before that you were clearly pissed off at me. . ." Mac was a second close to tossing her cover directly at his head, hoping to put some sense into Harm.

Harm stared at her for a moment and then spoke through gritted teeth. "You are just pissed off at me because I told you I wanted to take it slow."

"I think we've done slow for too damned long. . . In fact we've done standstill." She put her hands on her hips. "And what is taking this damned thing so long?"

"Which is why we need to take it slow. . we can't go from nothing to something. . . I now regret that we even slept together!" Once he said it, Harm wanted to take it back. If there were anything that he would never ever take back was that wonderful night with Mac. They'd surrendered to each other, it was his stupid dreams, visions, whatever they were that made him fear the relationship. Both had completely ignored the fact that the elevator had gotten to their floor and then was headed down again.

Mac looked down and then slowly looked up at him, hurt evident in her eyes. "And you know something, COMMANDER. . . if you didn't want to sleep with me you could have gone home. . . you could have left. . . you wanted it just as much as I did."

Again, he didn't know what possessed him or why lately all of their conversations came to who hurt who the most, but again he took a cheap shot at her. "Yea yea. . . right. . . a few words from a guy and you spread your legs for him . . ."

Mac crossed the elevator in a heartbeat and slapped him. "How dare you? . . ." She looked at him for a moment, the imprint of her hand visible on his face. "So that's what I am to you? Some kind of slut?"

Harm rubbed his cheek and pressed again for their floor. "Mac. . I'm sorr."

"Hold the apologies, I don't care about it. . ." She said sighing deeply, willing the tears to stay put. "If you were really sorry you wouldn't have said it. . . now let's get in there, finish this shit and get the hell out of here."

"Mac, wait" Harm said, walking after her once the elevator doors opened to their floor. He reached out to her and took her arm.

She spun around and shot him a look that would kill. "Let go of me, Commander. . . and as soon as the Admiral can figure out where to send me, the reining king of JAG won't have to share the top anymore… I am leaving."

It took Harm a few seconds for the thought to hit his brain. "And you say that I leave when things get too rough. Isn't this the second time Colonel?"

Mac stopped and looked directly into his eyes. "I can't continue to work there and see you every day. . .even though it would kill me. . . And I am going to degrade myself in telling you this now. . ." Mac took an shaky breath and came to the realization that she had been eluding him of. "I have feelings for you. . strong ones that I can't shake. . . Seeing you every day only adds to my agony. So, I would rather leave and start over somewhere else than to have to live day in day out with the torture of knowing that you don't want me."

"Mac. . ." Harm said and watched her walk into the office.

Moments later, Harm and Mac sat impatiently in Dr. Sanchez's office. "I'm sorry for the delay." A dark blond haired, green eyed woman said, walking into the office and offering them a handshake. "I am Dr. Sanchez." She ignored the fact that Harm still had a faint mark of someone's handprint on his cheek.

Instantly, Harm gave her the once over and flashed the flyboy grin of his. Mac rolled her eyes at this and let out an annoyed sigh. "I'm sorry, Dr. Sanchez, Mr. Rosel is still here could you please come and speak to him?" Dr. Sanchez's assistant said.

"On my way." Dr. Sanchez said into the speaker. "Excuse me for a moment." Politely, she left the room, leaving the two officers to stew a bit longer. Harm's gaze was on her as she went. He settled more comfortably in the chair figuring that this new situation should be easy.

Mac shook her head. "You know, I really do not mind you ogling other women. . . but before you start undressing her with your eyes, you might want to check that she is married."

Harm put his hand over his chest feigning innocence. "Mac. . . I. . ."

"She is right, Commander." Dr. Sanchez said, walking back into the room. "Though you do have a nice smile, it doesn't get you everywhere. . . I am also very married to a very good looking Marine."

Mac couldn't help but smirk when Harm's eyes widened. Looking over at him, she saw his ego chip away just a bit. "Now. . . Let's see here." Dr. Sanchez took a look at a folder and then looked up at them. "An Admiral made this appointment. I am assuming that he is someone's father?"

"No." They both answered in unison.

"Uncle?"

Mac shook her head and Harm offered an answer. "No, he is our commanding officer."

Sanchez rose an eyebrow. "I see, you two are working partners." At their simultaneous nod, she continued. "So I don't see why you are in couples therapy unless the Navy and Marine corps are doing something to make the two get along."

"Well, the Admiral thought it would help stop us from disrupting the office." Mac said with a half smile.

"So what seems to be the problem?" Sanchez asked, leaning back into her chair.

Harm sat at the edge of his. "There is no problem."

"Ah, yes there is." Mac said looking over at him.

Harm looked over at her. "No there isn't."

"Yes, there is a problem." Mac said, her voice changing into her Marine drill instructor voice.

"There isn't a problem." And that is when the argument began.

"You don't call us two arguing in the office a problem? Let alone the elevator ride up here." She yelled at him, standing up to try and gain some sort of advantage.

Harm too stood. "No! You are making it into a problem when it isn't. . . I already told you that."

A whistle brought the two of them back to the real world. Dr. Sanchez moved around her desk and stood between the two officers. "Okay. . . I see I have my work cut out for me. . ." Sighing, she took a stick from her desk. "This is the talking stick. . . you can only speak if you are holding it. . . who ever isn't holding it will be listening. . . Now come with me." She led them two a seating area with a sofa and a comfortable arm chair. "Colonel, Commander, take at seat on the sofa." When they did, she watched their body language and how Harm tried to sit close to Mac, but she just sat at the other end, as far away from him as possible. Sighing, she shook her head, never quite understanding how people could get to this point. "Now, Commander since you are the one that thinks there is no problem, I want you to start."

Harm took the stick that she handed to him and looked at it, then over at Mac who was avoiding his gaze. "I don't know where to start."

Dr. Sanchez nodded and made herself comfortable. "That is where I come in. . . I'll ask questions, you answer them, truthfully."

"I think I can do that." Harm said, smiling at her.

"When did you first meet the Colonel?" She asked, taking a pad and pencil to write down any important points.

"Eight years ago. . . in a rose garden." He smiled wistfully, allowing his memory to take him back to that very moment.

Dr. Sanchez wrote that down and continued her questions. "What did you think of the Colonel?"

"Back then she was a Major. . . I . . was taken by surprise." Harm said, staring off at nothing at all.

"Why is that?"

"She was . . . she had this. . this uncanny resemblance to a girl I knew that had died just some months before the Major and I met." He said, looking over at Mac who seemed to be ignoring the whole conversation.

Dr. Sanchez noted the sudden coldness between the two at the mention of another woman and decided to press the subject. "Tell me about that girl."

"Her name was Diane Schonke. She was a Lieutenant in the Navy. . . We met in the Academy and pretty much hit it off right away." Stopping for a moment, he realized that was similar to him and Mac. Despite their first case together, they had become friends very quickly.

"Go on." Dr. Sanchez urged.

"At first we were on the same tour. . . on the same aircraft carrier so things were great. We would sneak away together to some of the more private parts of the ship when we could." Sighing, he remembered the nights he'd taken her to the weather deck and the hundreds of kisses that they had shared there. He remembered the times when they were seeing the world, arriving at distant ports. The night that he'd made love to her on the beaches of Greece. "And then. . . then I had a ramp strike. . ." At Dr. Sanchez's raise eyebrow, he decided to explain better. "I crashed my plane onto the back of the air craft carrier. . . killed my RIO and I became a bit of a recluse for a while as I recovered. . . I didn't see Diane during that time."

"When did you see her next?" Dr. Sanchez asked.

Harm shrugged and took a deep breath. "Whenever I could. . . I had decided to go into law and during that time we didn't see much of each other. Only when she was on leave or on liberty." He made a face. "Basically we didn't' see each other enough. . . We started seeing other people. . . she was angry with me for having the love of flying that I did. . . she didn't understand." Another similarity with Mac, he thought. As much as Mac denied her being worried about him, he knew that she feared him flying. "The day that she was murdered, I was preparing for her to return. . . I was tired of dating other women, and I wanted to settle down, have a family." Shaking his head, he willed the tears not to spill. In fact, he was praying that they wouldn't. "She died and there was nothing I could do about it."

"How does all this tie up to the Colonel?" Dr. Sanchez asked, looking over at Mac who had finally seemed to come into the conversation.

Harm sighed. "Sometimes I resented her. . . I'd like to think that I didn't but I did. . . Other times. . she was very easy to talk to, I would ramble things off because it was always easy for me to speak to Diane. . . I bet Mac probably thought I was taking advantage of her or something."

Harm smiled. "I was flashing her a big grin and she just shot me down. . . I really wasn't trying anything sneaky. . . But, a woman that looks like Mac. . . I am sure she has to protect herself. I know a lot of other guys must have tried anything to get together with her."

"But, not you." Dr. Sanchez pointed a pen towards his direction.

Harm shook his head. "Not at that time, no."

"And other times?"

He sighed and weaved his fingers together, seemingly trying to find something to do. "We've always had bad timing."

"So back to Diane. Are you over her?"

Harm sat quietly for a moment and nodded. "Nearly a year after I met Mac, I was over her."

"What happened?"

"I kissed Mac for the first time. . . In a way I was kissing Diane goodbye, putting those ghost to rest." He said, smiling.

Dr. Sanchez nodded and jot down a few points. "And how was your relationship with Mac?"

"Great. . . I mean, we'd been best friends I think since we met and we knew we could trust each other. . ." He said, looking over at Mac who finally met his gaze offering him a half smile.

"Something happened though, else you wouldn't be here." Dr. Sanchez said, seemingly amused with the two before her.

Harm nodded. "Something's I'd rather not talk about."

"Something's we need to know before we figure out what is going on." She said, looking directly at Harm and then over to Mac. She was greeted with a silence so thick that she figured it would swallow them whole.

Harm took a breath in and held it, looking up to Mac for a moment and then back down. "I have. . .intimate feelings towards the Colonel."

Mac's head turned and she looked at him. It wasn't the admission of love that she wanted, but it was close enough.

Dr. Sanchez smiled at his revelation and remembered his words from earlier. "Never the right time, though? Did anything in particular make things between you two worse?"

Harm nodded. "Her getting engaged to someone else when I. . ." Taking a ragged breath, he almost spoke in-audibly. "Well. . . I didn't make a move. . ."

"But you wanted to?" It was more of a statement than a question

"Yes." He admitted, feeling foolish for not stepping up to bat with Mac.

Dr. Sanchez let him stew for a few moments and then asked. "And why didn't you?"

"I was afraid." He said softly, embarrassed at having to admit that to anyone.

"Of."

"Many things. . ."

"Tell me about these things." Sighing, Dr. Sanchez realized that speaking to Harm was like pulling teeth.

"Well at first, I was afraid it would destroy a working relationship. . . I was afraid it was just a one night stand and honestly, I don't want that with her. . . I'd rather never get to touch her again than to do something like that. . ." He said truthfully.

"From the looks of it Colonel, you are not married." Dr. Sanchez said and caught Mac look down at her fingers and back up at her, shaking her head 'no.'

Harm shook his head and held his breath for a moment. "During her engagement, I was afraid to destroy her happiness. . . she seemed happier with him than she ever would have been with me. . .I couldn't be selfish and take that away from her. . . and yet I took it away from her."

"How did you do that, Commander?" Dr. Sanchez brought the pen up to her mouth and began to bite the tip. This session was going to be a long one.

"She never got married because of me. . . I was heading home and my F-14 went down the night before the wedding. . . it was called off and they broke up." He remembered that night too clearly. The ocean filling his lungs, the helo not finding him, the moments he had damned his very existence to get to a wedding that wasn't even his own.

"Why do you think that was?" She was pushing buttons that she was sure no one else would push on the big bad Commander.

"Because she and I couldn't get over whatever is between us. . . and her fiancé could see it. . . So could my girlfriend at the time." Harm remembered the night that Mic left. It was one of the many times that things between he and Mac came to a screeching halt.

"How long ago was this?"

"Two years. . no more. . .I don't remember. . . feels like forever." He said, glancing over at Mac who was doing her best not to meet his gaze.

Dr. Sanchez looked at their interaction. She figured Harm to be one of the typical males who couldn't let go. Mac was the female with a broken heart that would not allow for him to break it any further. "Did you do anything about It then?" One of the main things she was needing to know was whether or not the two had become lovers. Though it would have been easier to ask them about that, Dr. Sanchez always liked to get the full picture.

"We needed to work on getting our friendship back again. . . and we were there. . . and then she was sent away and things got jumbled again. . . she .. she hurt me badly, took my ego with her as well." Harm sighed and then continued. "I saved her life and she told me that a relationship between us two would never work. . . I took that to heart and decided she meant our friendship as well. . . we didn't talk for several months. . . and now things are screwed up again."

"What are you afraid of?" Dr. Sanchez was now completely certain that he was madly in love with Mac. It didn't take a rocket scientist to know that he was very passionate about their relationship.

"Everyone I ever loved deeply has been severed from my life. . . My father went down in Vietnam, my mother married another and though we do get along, it's not the same. . . Diane died, Jym died, Jordan Died. . . Renée married a mortician. Mac almost died." Harm shook his head and didn't hide the single tear that came out of his eye.

This was too much for Mac who had her head down low, pinching the bridge of her nose as she tried to hold back the sobs that claimed her. She never really saw just how badly he had been hurting over things.

Dr. Sanchez saw their shared pain and in order to make things easier on the two, decided to give them both a break.

"Colonel." He said softly, handing a box of Puffs over to them. "We'll take a few minutes and start on you."

Mac couldn't say much, she simply nodded and left the room, walking to the bathroom to compose herself.

Harm sat there, thinking about all of the things that he'd said and tying them into the nightmares he'd been having. All of those that he loved died and now he was daring to love Mac. Even in their past lives, one of them was taken away from the other. They were doomed.


	8. Chapter 8

PART 9

2440 ZULU

Dr. Elizabeth Sanchez's Office

Washington, D.C.

Harm handed the stick over to Mac once she returned. He wanted to ask if she was alright, but he didn't know where to begin.

Dr. Sanchez began a different tactic with Mac, trying to find a way to tie everything together. "Why did you join the Marines, Colonel?"

Mac sighed. "I had a bit of a bad childhood. . . did some hell raising. . . drank a lot. . . got in some trouble . . . my Uncle was in the Marines, he inspired me."

"What was your take of when you first met the Commander?" Dr. Sanchez proceeded.

Mac took a breath and fumbled with her cover. "Well. . . I've been used to having men try to seduce me. . . at first I thought he was trying to. . . not take advantage, but maybe have an unfair advantage. . . It's difficult for women in the military to get the respect that we deserve."

"After that, how would you describe your relationship with the Commander?"

Mac smiled, "Great actually. . . I mean we had our court battles, but we managed to remain good friends. . . until we had a case on a Submarine." She frowned at the thought. She wanted so badly to talk to him then and she would have let him know her intentions had he not effectively removed himself from the conversation. "We bumped heads a bit harder that usual. . . things spiraled from then on. . . soon after he left JAG and went back to active flight duty." Her voice was low, as if she were trying to hide her suffering. Harm, for once, caught the tone in her voice and realized the pain that she'd normally try to hide. "And then he returned months later."

Dr. Sanchez realized she had struck a chord with this new information, so she decided to use it. "Were you happy when he returned?"

Mac shrugged. "Things were _different_. . . they weren't the same and I resented him for it." She held a breath for a moment and let it out slowly. "When he left it was like he was leaving... me. . . like he didn't care about me." She said, feeling selfish at wanting him to stay for her own sake. "And then came Australia. . ." She didn't even wait for Dr. Sanchez to question it, instead, she just continued, ignoring the fact that Harm was just next to her. "I made a move on him and he pushed away. . . made me feel unwanted. . . Not to mention that when he left to play with this planes he said something along the lines of love not having anything to do with anything. . . that broke me in two."

"Is that when you got together with someone else?" Dr. Sanchez looked at her notes and quickly pieced all the information together. Harm figured that she was good, really good.

Mac nodded softly. "Harm pushed away. . . I went to another man."

"What happened when his plane crashed?" She asked looking at Mac.

"A part of me crashed with him. . ." Mac said closing her eyes tight remembering that evening so vividly. "I wanted to swim out to sea and tell him that I needed him. . . I felt so guilty because times before I'd told him 'good luck' and this time I didn't. . . I don't feel bad about my wedding not happening. . . I think that was . . ." Trailing off she looked over at Harm. "I don't blame you for taking care of Renee when her father died, Harm. . . I was being selfish."

Dr. Sanchez raised her eyebrows in confusion. "Care to elaborate, Colonel?"

"The night my fiancé left me, he did so because he thought there was something between Harm and me." Mac sighed and saw Harm turn his head away. "I called Harm and he told me to come over. . . I thought we were going to . . I don't know make sense of things?" Her voice cracked a bit. Clearing her throat she continued. "His girlfriend was there, her father had died and Harm and I couldn't. . .talk. . . I hated him for it then. . . but I was being selfish. . . I couldn't handle it and so, this time, I left him behind."

Dr. Sanchez frowned. "How long did it take before you saw each other again?"

"He followed me out there when I refused to talk to him over the phone. . . When I came back home we had a rough patch and then smoothed it out, we were doing good again." Mac said, trailing off for a moment. True, things between the two of them had gotten very good until the Singer fiasco and then Paraguay.

"Something else happened?" Dr. Sanchez was now beginning to feel like she was put in the middle of a soap opera rather than a therapy session.

"He didn't tell me about something personal that was going on. . ." Pausing, she decided not to mention his brig time. "He had to go away. . .and when he came back, I had to go away.on a mission. . . My life was in danger and." She looked over at Harm and smiled. "He saved me. . . brought me home safely."

Dr. Sanchez smiled. "Well you two have quite a history together."

Mac nodded and smiled. "We do."

"So what led to your CO to call me?" Dr. Sanchez asked hoping she could get to the root of the problem in one session since they were both forthcoming with info.

"After a horrible year, we finally managed to figure things out. . . or so I thought." Mac said looking down at the floor. "We got together. . . he pushed me away." And that was all that she could say about it. There was no more detail, that was the beginning and end of it all.

Harm reached his hand over to Mac and she slid the stick into his hand. "I pushed away because I was concerned."

"About what, Commander?" Dr. Sanchez said, happy that they decided to follow her rule rather than scream at each other.

Harm sighed and shifted uncomfortably. "We've both been having strange dreams. . . seemingly pointing to a past life. . . in the dreams either she or I die. . . I pushed away because I thought that dreams were foretelling a future." He said quietly hoping that Dr. Sanchez did not consider him to be a lunatic.

Dr. Sanchez nodded and took a look at her watch. "Time is up for today, but if you really want to check into your dreams I can help you. . . if you don't mind coming on a Saturday."

Mac looked over at Harm and nodded. "I wouldn't mind."

"I wouldn't either." He said, looking over at her.

"Perfect, I'll contact you both about the time." Smiling she stood and took the stick from Harm. "I think we've made some headway . . . and you two have a lot to discuss." Extending her hand, she took each of theirs and shook it. "It was good to have you two here, if you ever want to discuss something, give me a call."

Harm and Mac headed out of the office and to their corvettes that were parked side by side. "I'll see you tomorrow, Harm."

Nodding he smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow." Getting into his car, he watched her leave.


	9. Chapter 9

PART 10

"Ethan. . . Oh Ethan." A woman moaned as her lover entered her. Wrapping her legs around him, she allowed for them to be even more connected than they were before.

"Lorelei, you are so beautiful." He said, as his blue-green eyes looked into her brown eyes. He leaned down to kiss her. "I lov. . ." Before he had a chance to finish the sentence, he heard someone break down the door.

The two lovers were stripped off of each other and Ethan watched in horror as one of the assailants stabbed Lorelei. Moments later, he was dead as well.

Some say it was a past love of Lorelei that had taken vengeance on them two. Others said it was Ethan's past love. It didn't matter because on a cold January morning, they'd lost each other yet again. Again, victims of an untimely death.

1600 Zulu

Dr. Sanchez

Washington, DC

Harm had been frantic all day. Though he kept his cool on the way to Sanchez's office he was falling apart inside. Last nights dream was far too vivid and scary. The nagging feeling that something was about to happen didn't leave him. He needed to talk to Mac again.

Walking into the office, he saw Mac, Dr. Sanchez and an older woman. "Sorry! Sorry! I think I caught every red light possible."

Dr. Sanchez smiled. "Sit down, we're ready to start." Doing as he was told, Harm took up a seat on the sofa next to Mac.

"Together once, not together now. . . but you both want to be." The old lady pointed out, smiling at the couple before her. Dr. Sanchez had contacted her grandmother and asked for help with clients of hers. She'd explained to Harm and Mac the night before that their grandmother was somewhat of a mystic. Before her family had run away from Castro and Cuba, Dr. Sanchez's grandmother Eloisa Vega-Leal, was a sought after for spiritual help in their small down in Cardenas. "You both need to learn to let go." She said in a rich Cuban accent, smiling at Harm and Mac.

"He's the one that can't let go." Mac thought to herself and sadly reflected on their past history.

"You are wrong Sarah . . you haven't given him a reason to let go." She said, smirking when Mac's jaw dropped.

Mac blushed. "How did you. . ."

"It's what I do. . ." Smiling, Eloisa looked into the shells laid before her. "There is a reason why you two are remembering your pasts now. ."

"What reason?" Mac said, leaning forward, interested in whatever explanation the woman had to give.

Frowning, she turned to them. "One of you is going to die."

Harm sucked in his breath sharply. "That is what I was fearing. . . I thought it was all a coincidence."

"It isn't." The old lady said sadly as she took the shells, shook them in her hands and then spread them back on the table.

"What are we supposed to do about it . . . If it isn't a coincidence then it is a destiny." Harm said softly as he watched Eloisa's every movement.

Eloisa looked up at Harm and then over to Mac. "There is a pattern in the

dreams. . . if you can find it, then you will know who's time is up."

"This is crazy. . . Of course we are going to die. We start to die the day

we are born." Mac stood up and paced. "Following a pattern in dreams. . .

What is that going to do?"

"You can try to prevent it from happening." Eloisa said, looking up at Mac who looked like she was about to have a nervous breakdown. Looking at the shells she found a bit more enlightenment. "Something is going to happen, something big. . . That is when it will come to it's conclusion in this

lifetime." Frowning she shook her head and closed her eyes tightly. "This is your last lifetime together. . . you get no more chances."

Mac looked into Harm's eyes and saw the sadness that lay there. He looked

away from her intent gaze. "So all the times we've wasted? We've been fools."

Eloisa shook her head with her eyes still closed. When she opened them, her eyes fell on Harm's. "The spirits are ruthless with the paths they chose. It's not being together, it's just following rules. . . Destiny rules. . .No ones a fool. . ."

Mac grabbed her jacket. "Thank you Mrs. Leal. But, I am sorry. . . You are asking us. . .me. . to believe in something that I can't."

"You have a great gift, Sarah." Eloisa pointed out, not taking offense at Mac's criticism of her gifts. "Use it more often. . .it will help you."

Mac looked at Harm and then back at the old woman. "Thank you. . . but I gotta get out of here."

"Mac. . ." Harm said softly trying to use his eyes to keep her from leaving the room. "Please. . ."

She shook her head, not allowing herself to accept the fact that she needed him like the air that she breathed. That she craved him. "I can't." With that, she left the building and drove back to the security of her apartment.


	10. Chapter 10

PART 11

1410 Zulu

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

"So?" Admiral Chegwidden said, looking at his two senior officers. He was, of

course, referring to their time with the shrink.

Mac shrugged. "It was interesting, I guess."

"Interesting." He said in a hard voice, sighing deeply at the fact that he'd tried to get them to open up to one another and had obviously failed. He could only imagine how badly it must have gone. "Well, that is it then."

Harm nodded. "We won't be making a scene in the office anymore, sir."

"No, you won't." He looked up at Mac, knowing that her mind had finally been made up. He was going to lose a valuable asset to headquarters and most important, lose a friend. "Commander, we need a JAG for a few days on the Patrick Henry. . . the resident JAG requested emergency leave and they are left short handed."

Harm grinned at the mention of heading to a carrier. "Yes, sir."

"You may be able to do your quals while out there. . . come back to us in one

piece, Harm." AJ said, handing the paperwork over to Harm who happily accepted

it.

AJ handed over another file to Mac. "Colonel, you'll be prosecuting on the

Loggins case. I gave Turner the defense. . . that will be all, dismissed."

"Sir, may I stay behind for a few moments?" Harm said, remaining in his chair.

AJ nodded. "Very well, Colonel, dismissed."

"Aye aye, sir." Mac said before executing an about face and headed into her own office. A few hours later, she stood outside of his office with papers that needed his signature. Motioning, with his hands, he told her to come in.

"Yep, I am going up in an F-14." He said with a smile that reached his eyes. "I'm not sure how long I'll be away, Mattie." The smile changed into a frown and his eyes rolled up as he sighed. Turning around to look out the window, he

settled into his chair. "We have plenty of time to go over the paperwork. I promise. . . okay. . . love ya too. . .bye." Turning around, he saw Mac walking down the hall, heading towards the bullpen.

Two Weeks Later

1000 Zulu

Mac's Apartment

Georgetown

(A/N: The song on the radio is Fleetwood Mac's "Destiny Rules" off of their

newer album called Say You Will. I have NO clue if it will hit the radio as a

single, but for the purposes of this story it has. ;))

"Maybe we were together in another life. Maybe we were together in a parallel

universe. Maybe our paths are not supposed to cross twice. Maybe your arms are

not supposed to go around me." Mac turned over about to turn her clock/radio

off until the lyrics and twangy guitar made her stop and listen. ". . . Destiny

Rules, and the spirits are ruthless with the paths they choose. It's not being

together, it's just following the rules. . . No one's a fool."

Mac sat up in bed, those words were familiar to her. Very familiar to her. With a deep sigh, she brought her knees to her chest and held herself.

Something was going to happen today. She could feel it in her bones, yet . . . she couldn't put her finger on it.

After heading out of bed, Mac decided for her morning run, but not even that

shook her uneasy feeling. Turning the TV on to check the latest news and

weather, she headed towards her bathroom and turned on the water for a shower.

She didn't see ZNN's red news ticker, a lie told to the press to save face when indeed some people were in danger: ". . .escaped from Leavenworth weeks ago. Officials have captured and returned the prisoner. . ."

1810 ZULU

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

"Something wrong, Colonel?" Harriet said, as she saw her friend stare blankly at

the folders that had just been handed to her. It would be the last piece of work she would do. Nearly a week earlier she had signed the papers that effectively terminated her service in Falls Church.

Mac sighed wistfully. "I'm fine."

Harriet nodded. "You sure?"

Mac looked up and offered a half smile. "No."

"We're. . . well we're going to miss you, Ma'am." Harriet said sadly and made

her way out of the office before emotions had taken over.

"I am going to miss you guys too." Mac said solemnly looking at her belongings fit neatly in two boxes. Her office was now bare and no remnants of it's occupant remained.

"Colonel?" Coates called through the intercom. "The Admiral would like to see you."

Mac punched the button. "Thank you Petty Officer."

Standing she made her way to AJ's office and knocked on the door. "Enter."

Heading in she saw her friends all standing casually inside. Coates had joined

not a moment later. "I understand you didn't want the Robert's to give you a going away party, but, it is a direct order that you attend this one, Mac."

Raising a glass of mineral water AJ continued. "May you be happy and fare well in all your endeavors. . . We will miss you."

"To the Colonel!" Bud said raising his mineral water and all the others did the

same.

AJ walked over to Mac and sighed. "We can't do anything to make you stay?"

Mac shook her head. "No sir. . . I think I've overstayed my welcome here. But thank you."

"Did you get a chance to say goodbye to Commander Rabb, ma'am?" Coates said with

a half smile. She'd always thought that Harm and Mac had been good for each other and they'd eventually figure it out.

Mac was about to answer until that eerie feeling came over her again. She

couldn't help but think about the time when he'd tried to make it home for her wedding. "Harm. . . Ah, no. . . I don't think he'd care much anyway."

Nearly an two hours later, she headed home. Harm was running through her mind

again. Something about him going up in a Tomcat was unsettling more than ever.

Something was going to happen to him, she felt it. Grabbing her cell phone she cursed at the thing for not being able to get through. "Damnit!"

2045 Zulu

USS Patrick Henry

300 miles off the coast of Virginia

"Commander Rabb. There is a call for you, sir." Petty Officer Oliver said as he

walked into the wardroom.

Harm nodded and walked to the wall, picking up the receiver. "Rabb."

"Harm. . . Don't go up today." She said, completely ignoring all formalities of a proper hello.

"Well hello to you too, Mac." He said sarcastically. "and why shouldn't I go

up?"

"I have a feeling. . . a dream actually. . . you'll go down." She bit her lower

lip, feeling stupid for even making that call.

"How the hell would that happen? I am just doing quals. . . All we do is fly off the deck go around the carrier and land again. . .I am nearly done just gotta do 2 night traps this time. . . doesn't get much more un-complicated than

that." His flyboy ego was firmly in place.

"Damnit, flyboy! Listen to me. . . I have a bad feeling. . . Please I am begging you not to go up." She clutched her phone almost envisioning her hands around him, willing him to give into her.

Harm sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I thought you didn't believe in what the lady told us?"

"I don't." She said softly. ". . .but I have one of those feelings you used to trust."

"Used to." His voice was hard and angry. Yes, he wanted to believe that they

were meant to be together but too many awful words had been said. How could he

fully give his heart to the woman who'd trampled over the pieces she already held? Maybe she had been right about "never." Even after making love there bickering hadn't ceased. To make matters worse, Coates had e-mailed him about

Mac leaving JAG for good. That destroyed whatever hope he'd had left in salvaging their relationship.

"Harm please. . ." She begged.

"I've gotta go." He placed the phone back in its cradle and turned on his heels,

heading for the rack. He needed to get some rest before he went up. He needed

to clear his mind of Sarah MacKenzie.

"No!" Mac said when she heard the call cut out. She felt the overwhelming

dread. Harm was gone. The dynamic duo was no more and she robbed herself a chance to tell him goodbye.

As much as it hurt, Mac began to pack for the trip. The Admiral had finally found a temporary post for her aboard the Guadalcanal until he found something

more suitable for her abilities. She found it ironic that she was being sent to the same place that she used to run away from Harm and figured there was a reason for it. They were meant to be apart. "Good luck, flyboy." She said as she placed her duffle bag near the door. Tomorrow she would try to make a new life for herself and erase Harmon Rabb Jr. from her life. Tonight, she would pray that God would do her one favor and bring him safely home.


	11. Chapter 11

PART 12

War. There was a seemingly everlasting talk of war and the whole nation was attuned to it. The freedom that their forefathers had strived and fought for was, once again being toyed with. Many tried to ignore the crumbling

freedom. Others decided to fight for the cause as their distant relatives had done in another era. For every lost soul, there was another prepared to join in the cause, willingly placing themselves in harm's way.

"Don't go." He said to her, but it was no use. He saw the determination in her eyes and knew her mind was made up. She'd come home after her training one last time.

Sighing, she broke their embrace and stepped back a bit to look at him. "I have to. Our country needs me."

"Isn't one of us enough?" He said, watching his wife trying on a pristine white nurses uniform. She would be stationed in one of the many US Hospital ships that floated near the war ships. It seemed only right to use her new talents where they were needed the most. Just a few short years ago she'd realized her calling in life and could not wait to start medical school.

For now, that had to wait, the country needed her. "There are hundreds of others going Sarah, why do you have to go too?"

She turned around and looked directly into Harm's eyes and moved forward running her hands over his Marine uniform. "For the same reason you enlisted. . . to fight for what we believe in. . . to grant freedom for our future, for our children."

"And what if you don't come home?" He said, with a horrified look in his eyes as she slid out of his arms and to the vanity where she sat.

"You always come back home to me, don't you?" She watched him through the mirror and smiled. "We're both coming back, Harm. We have a future together." Standing up, she moved towards him and wrapped her arms tightly

around her warrior. "You come back home. . . and I'll see you once the war is over."

Harm nodded and moved down to kiss her. Once they broke off he had a certain feeling of loss. Though he hoped things would be alright, he

realized he would never see her again.

-Two Months Later-

"Pregnant?" Lt. Jennifer Roberts said, looking at the younger woman.

Sarah nodded and bit her lower lip. "I didn't know. Had I. . . I wouldn't have enlisted. . . I thought my queasy feelings were just nerves."

"I'll see what I can do about getting you home." She said with a smile. She should have been angry at the new nurses' situation, but she couldn't. In a time of war, a little piece of good news was always welcomed.

Sarah sighed and placed her hand over her abdomen. "I just wish Harm would know. . ."

Lt. Roberts smiled. "He will soon enough. War shouldn't last much longer now."

"How do you know he is even alive?" Commander Linn said, walking up behind

the two women. "It's foolish to remain hopeful under these circumstances."

Sarah stood and wrapped her arms around herself closing her eyes and letting

a small smile escape her lips. "I still feel him. . . he is alive and coming back to me and our baby."

Suddenly a Japanese plane fell into the waters near the hospital ship causing the vessel to rock. "That was close." Said Lt. Roberts.

Sarah stood there wide-eyed. During the time that they had been at sea, there had been some close calls but the ship had never rocked as much. "I-I think I am going to be sick." She said, making her way out of the wardroom

and up to the top deck. Once she was there, she took a long breath of ocean air. Looking out, she saw the devastation on the seas. An American ship was engulfed in flames. She could see tiny figures diving into the ocean.

"Get down!" Someone on the deck yelled. But it was too late, the swarm of bullets from one of the American war ships hit the hospital ship. A few of

the nurses rushed to Sarah's aid, but it was too late, she was gone.

(AN: I was watching 'Each of Us Angels' when it gave me an idea with a bit

more of a twist.)

2150 Zulu

USS Patrick Henry

300 miles off the coast of Virginia

"Commander! Commander!" Harm woke up to the sound of Skates banging on his door. Standing he made his way to the hatch and opened. "Sorry I must have

dozed off."

"We have five minutes to get the to ready room. . . last set of quals, sir.. .there is a storm brewing and the crew wants to wrap up early." She said

happily. Her expression changed as she saw Harm merely nod and look. . . unsure? "What is it, Harm?"

"Ever get the feeling something is going to go wrong?"

Skates shook her head. "Yea, every time I think of us ejecting over the Atlantic, but I shake it off. . .This is what I was meant to do. . . even my

fiancé knows that."

Harm nodded. "You're right." Shaking it off, he trailed after Skates as they made it to the ready room.

-Two Hours Later-

After the quals were done, Harm and Skates stood on the weather deck, watching the rest of their squadron members coming in. "Commander, Lieutenant." Captain Ingles said, joining the two.

"Skipper." Harm said nodding at the captain.

Captain Ingles watched as one of the in-coming F-14s landed on the carrier. "Never get tired of watching that."

"Me neither, sir." Skates said smiling.

Turning to face the pilot and RIO Ingles brought his arms across his chest. "I have a proposition for the two of you."

"I'm all ears, captain." Harm said.

Ingles nodded. "I need you to fly an F-14 to Andrews."

"Us, sir?" Harm said unsurely, remembering their last adventure off the Henry. "I thought there was a storm?"

The skipper nodded. "The cell is dispersing, so you'll have free skies. You two were supposed to be headed out tonight anyway. I figure, this way we can save the COD a trip." Ingles smacked Harm on the shoulder and the stopped. "Don't drop this one into the drink, am I clear?"

Both snapped to attention. "Aye, sir."

"Good. . . You have an hour." Ingles headed inside while Skates and Harm exchanged amused looks.

0145 Zulu

Mac's Apartment

Georgetown

The crash from the thunderstorm had Mac awake in an instant. She hated bad

weather and was happy to be home when it got this way. Rubbing her eyes, she sat up and checked her internal clock. Harm would return sometime tomorrow and hopefully, they would completely miss each other by the time

she headed out to the Guadalcanal. She hated doing this but there was no other way. She was determined to get over him one way or another.

This way was drastic but it made sense, she was away from him. She didn't have to hear about him from anyone. If they were meant to be apart, she'd rather be without him than have to see him everyday and die just a little more inside.

It was selfish, but maybe she was in the right place for being so.

A man who does nothing but push away can't be interested in her. 'If only we hadn't made love.' She thought as her mind trailed back to that night and how wonderful it had felt to be intimate with Harm. It felt so safe and so right to be in his arms, to kiss him, to let him touch her in ways others hadn't. No one would have guessed that a night so perfect was the end of it all. Life wasn't fair for them and never would be. It was reasonable to just give up.

The sudden annoying ring of her cell phone broke her thoughts. She glared

at the thing for a moment before deciding to answer it. "MacKenzie."

"Hello there." A male voice said on the other line, pausing for a moment.

Mac moved the phone over to her other ear. "Who is this?"

"You know me, Major. . . Oh, I am sorry. . . Colonel." She couldn't quite place it, but she knew that person from somewhere.

"I am going to ask again. . . who the hell is this?" She said, her voice becoming stronger and self-assured, Marine mode fully in place.

The person on the other line just laughed. "I have a riddle for you: I lived

in a Fort and once I left there. Only to be taken back and live in despair. I am now in Washington and by the sea, the prettiest place to be on the 933. And oh, gosh, golly, gee, I have Commander Rabb with me." Then line went dead.

"The Commander? Hello? Hello!?" She said before slamming the phone down

into its charger. Shaking her head, she quickly took a pen and paper and wrote down what she remembered 'Commander, Sea, Fort, Washington, Sea, 933'

She sat for a moment and blankly contemplated what she wrote. Something

kept telling her to search the computer. Going over to the machine, she turned it on and went online. Going to one of the search engines she punched in 'Washington sea 933'

Immediately #1 in the search was the Washington Naval Yard and a

decommissioned destroyer USS Barry. "Harm is on the Henry." She shook her head. How many times had Harm caught a different flight out of the ships and headed home sometime earlier.

She imagined him walking into his

apartment and someone laying in wait for him. Standing up, she loaded her service weapon and grabbed a jacket. After putting the safety on, she slid the pistol into her pocket and picked up a small flashlight just in case, as she headed to the shipyards.


	12. Chapter 12

PART 13

0150 Zulu

200 miles off the eastern coast.

"Shit Harm." Skates said, looking into her onboard dopplar. "There is one hell of a storm about five minutes away."

Harm took a deep breath and held it. "Skates, just stay with me. . . Radio into Washington and see if we can be diverted." Harm closed his eyes for a

few seconds trying to maintain his composure. He wasn't ready to punch out again. His heart was already beating a million miles an hour as he

remembered trying to race back for Mac's wedding.

"Harm? Commander!" He heard Skates yell at him.

Looking through the mirror he saw his RIO. "What is it?"

"Washington says to remain on course, this is the safest route." She punched in a few figures on the computers. "It's a fast moving cell and it

should be out of the area ten minutes in."

"Ten minutes in?" He said loudly. "That's a lifetime." Suddenly he felt the plane start to rattle as they entered the storm.

Skates took a ragged breath. "Here we go."

"I can't die tonight Skates." He said strongly.

Skates shook her head. "Harm. . . no one is dying tonight. This isn't like the last time at all. The conditions are better and we are flying on a

newer plane."

Harm nodded. "Good because I haven't told Mac that I love her yet." He said wishing he could undo some of the pain he caused her.

"You two finally together?" Skates' surprised voice made Harm chuckle. It was good having Skates to fly with. At the moment he needed his head off of falling into the water below.

Harm sighed. "Sorta. . ."

"How are you sorta together? Either you are or you aren't. Bank two-zero degrees left." Skates said, monitoring their progression through the small

storm.

"Left two-zero degrees." Once he made the adjustments he continued. "Well.. . we. . . you know. . . and I decided to break it off."

"Hammer, you are an idiot do you know what?" Had they not been in an F-14 together, she would have slapped him upside the head. "How could you break it off, sir?"

Harm sighed. "Long and complicated."

"So un-complicate it." She said frankly, checking the cell that was nearly clearing the area. "Dropping altitude, Hammer. Bring it back up one-zero degrees."

"One-zero degrees." Harm held his breath for a moment. "Might be too late now. . . she is leaving DC for good."

"Well, stop her from leaving!"

He suddenly felt an eerie, overwhelming feeling. His head started to pound with a sudden onset that clouded his mind. He was weak, disoriented and out of control. He felt like he was falling and he couldn't stop it. "It's too late."

As if being toyed with by some unforeseen hand, the F-14's nose tipped down. Harm watched as the clouds rushed by him. Suddenly he felt numb, his hands had no power over the controls. Living wouldn't matter anymore. Dying was

just the consequence of not being with Sarah.

Skates was checking everything trying to figure out what was going on. "Do you have control?" She yelled to Harm. "Commander! Do you have control!"

Checking the meter, she realized they didn't have much more time before they became the next statistic. "Commander! Damnit Hammer! You won't die tonight. . . We won't go down tonight! PULL UP!"

Harm was suddenly out of his reverie and listening clearly. "THAT'S AN ORDER COMMANDER! PULL UP! PULL UP!"

Suddenly, Harm got his bearings back and pulled the jet back up leveling it out. Sighing, he looked back at Skates who looked like she was going to be sick. He too was feeling unusually light headed. "You okay?"

She nodded. "What happened?"

"Not sure, my head started pounding." He said. Looking out he realized they finally passed the storm.

"Just in case, I am switching us to back up O2." Skates flicked a few switches and took a deep breath. "All in a days work."

Smiling that flyboy smile, Harm checked his gauges to make sure the plane didn't suffer any damages. "Skates, how many miles left? Maybe it isn't too late. . ."

0230 Zulu

USS Barry

Washington Naval Yard

Washington, DC

Mac should have found it strange that no guards were in place at the ship

yards. She should have found it even stranger that there was such an eerie calm in her. Walking up the gang plank she made it to the upper deck of the destroyer USS Barry and looked around. "So far so good." She said under her

breath and proceeded in venturing into the ship. Clicking on her mini

Maglite, she moved the beam around the first hatch, making sure there were no surprises in for her. She descended down the first stair way she found. She'd been around some destroyers before and figured the vessel's anatomy

could not be much different from others.

Out of the darkness a man, dressed all in black, grabbed Mac's forearm. Quickly, she spun around and planted a hard kick right in the center of the

man's chest. She heard him fall back and didn't expect the man to sweep her ankles, causing Mac to fall. "Well, I always liked a good fight." The man said, stepping closer to her only to be swept off his own feet.

"Yea, well. . .Marines are first to fight." She said, trying to kick at the man while he was down.

He turned over a few times and managed to miss her kicks and then stood. "You fight pretty good for a girl."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Mac said sarcastically as she tried to figure out who the man was. The voice sounded very familiar to her but the man had a ski mask on. "Care to tell me who you are?"

"You mean you still don't know? Tsk tsk tsk . . . I thought you lawyers were supposed to be smart . . ." He said, running full force towards Mac who sidestepped the advance and managed to squarely hit him in the face. Once she saw him fall, she made a run out of the hatch only to be tripped up by the knee knocker.

The man was soon on top of her, turning her over. His hands moved over her body as he pinned her down. "Do you like me this way Sarah? Or would you prefer for me to have a mask on and impersonate Rabb." He hovered over her,

his hands pinning her arms down. His mouth came down to her neck where he

licked.

That was when she realized who it was. "Can't say I want you either way, Palmer." She said before bringing her knee between his legs and hitting him hard on the groin.

Clark Palmer removed the ski mask and coiled up in pain as he watched the marine get away. "Fucking Bitch!"

Mac would have been able to get away had she not missed a step on the stairs. She felt her body helplessly descend to the deck below. She landed

hard and felt the instant radiating pain on her ankle. Fighting a loss of consciousness, Mac managed to hide in one of the staterooms. She'd recalled a time when something similar occurred to Harm, he'd had a concussion then.

She was sure she'd have one now.

Laughter came from the deck above as she heard Palmer coming in close to her. "Fallen and you can't get up?" He rubbed the sore spot and tried to not concentrate on the pain that was evident in his voice.

Mac quickly found a spot to hide realizing that she needed to preserve whatever energy she had left in case she had to fight Palmer again.

"You know that last hit was a low blow Colonel. . . I mean, I may want to have children eventually. . ." He said, as he slowly descended the stairs.

"No answer. . . so that means you are hiding or unconscious." Laughing, he stopped midway and turned on a flashlight, pointing it downward.

"Personally, I'd prefer you conscious, much more fun that way." When he got to the bottom he pointed the light around and then proceeded towards the staterooms. "You know. . . Rabb will be here in a while." Finally he found Mac coiled in a corner, trying to blend into her surroundings.

"No he won't. He doesn't head back until tomorrow." Mac said through gritted teeth as the world around her began to spin.

Palmer shook his finger. "No no no, that is where you are wrong. Andrews requested an F-14 and Harm is flying it in."

"How do you know that? And how does he even know where we are?"

"He'll find out. I've taken the liberty of leaving a message for him at his apartment." Palmer grinned. "You'd be surprised just how much I can

accomplish outside of Leavenworth."

"What do you want from us?" She said, pulling her hand up to block the light that was causing her head to pound even harder.

Palmer shook his head and kneeled before her. "I just want what I've always wanted. . . for Harm to suffer. . ." His eyes sparkled as he brought he

flashlight under his face, seemingly telling a ghost story. Sucking in his breath through his teeth, Palmer smiled brightly. "Years ago I tried to make him kill that physiatrist . . What was her name?" Snapping his fingers he remembered. "Ah! Parker! Yes."

"So?" Mac said between gritted teeth. She was in pain, but doing a great job in not letting it show.

Leaning forward, he ran a hand softly down her face. "So. . .I should have come after you. . . It would have been more practical. .You have been the most precious thing in his life for so long. . . You are the one he really can't live without." Laughing he leaned back and whacked his own head with the palm of his hand. "I was a total fucking idiot not to see that. . . but now I have and here we are."

Mac chuckled herself as she looked into his eyes. "He doesn't give a damn about me, Palmer."

"Nice try, Colonel. . ." Palmer said, helping her stand and leading her a chair where he taped her to." Now, we'll just leave you here for safe

keeping." Grinning he threw a dirty blanket over her and taped her mouth shut. "We wouldn't want you to freeze would we?"


	13. Chapter 13

PART 14

0500 Zulu

Mac's Apartment

Georgetown

Harm didn't even bother changing out of his flight gear as he made it out ofAndrews and found a car he could commandeer to Mac's place. He and Skates had gone over the flight with the powers that be who would get back to them after they checked the plane out for any problems.

Using his spare key, he was happy to see that the locks had not changed. "Mac?" He said softly. He figured that she wasn't home due to him not

seeing her Corvette parked outside. Tripping over the duffel bag, he fell to the floor. "Damnit." Standing, he turned on a lamp and saw what he had tripped on. Thankfully he wasn't too late. "Thank God."

Walking to the sofa, he sat down and leaned his head back for a moment. On the ride over he'd try to put together something nice to tell her. But, he

figured a "Please stay, I love you." should do the trick. If it didn't, there would be a lot of begging and groveling. He wasn't usually that way,

but, he needed his Marine in his life.

Looking at the coffee table, he saw a note scribbled down in Mac's hand writing. 'Commander, Sea, Fort, Washington, Sea, 933'

"Nine-Three-Three." He said in a low voice. "That's the hull number for the USS Barry." Grabbing the paper, he headed out of the door. Somehow he knew she was in danger.

0535 Zulu

USS Barry

Washington Naval Yard

Palmer took a look at Mac's head and pressed a damp rag into her head injury. "Ah, there we go." He'd patiently been waiting for Harm's return

but little did he realize that it would be sooner than he expected.

She looked at him fighting the fear that was causing bile to rise up at her throat. Had she been in a different situation and not helplessly tied up to a chair, things would have been different. "I bet you want to know how I escaped?" He said and at her nod he continued. "I got good at impersonating people. . . so I had someone else take my place. . . the authorities are

running around trying to find someone else." He laughed and watched her expressions. "So now we wait for the commander. . . this is going to be very enjoyable. I am going to show you what it's like being with a real man and

Harm will get to watch." His hand darted upward, startling Mac. He slowly traced down her neck to her breasts. "Don't worry, I'll be gentle." As he

moved forward to kiss her through the tape, Mac jerked her head as hard as possible and nailed him. It was a good attempted that eared her a

backhanded slap. Palmer stood, towering over her and took some deep breaths.

Harm got off the car a very far distance away from the USS Barry. He decided it would be better to head in on foot rather than be discovered too

early. As quiet as possible, when walking around a destroyer, he made it around the ship. It wasn't long before he found Mac with her head lulled to

the side. "Mac?" He whispered softly, trying to get her to rise. "C'mon Mac." Just when her eyes opened slowly she saw them go big as saucers.

Soon after he felt a blow to his head.

When Harm awoke, he was strung up by his arms with a rope that went upward and around a large beam. His toes were just barely touching the floor and right across from him was Mac. "Good morning, Commander." Palmer said, walking in front of him. "I trust you are well rested, you are going to need your strength."

Harm laughed simply because every time he'd thought they were rid of Palmer he managed to sneak his way into their lives again. "Don't you ever get tired of trying to get back at me?"

Palmer grinned and brought the same rope that was tying Harm into some contraption he had built. "Nope. It's just my mission in life."

"How'd you get out?" Harm asked, attempting to figure out what was in his grand design.

Palmer stopped for a moment and seemingly thought about the question. "Well,

I managed to get another prisoner to impersonate me. . . and you do remember how good I was at that."

"Yea, I also remember that eventually you were nailed." Harm said nonchalantly while keeping an eye on Palmer and Mac.

Palmer shrugged. "I've gotten better at it. . . So, escape was easy. I had a friend or two on the inside."

Harm nodded. "That was the escape plastered all over the TV. . . they said you were caught."

"They said. . .yea, apparently it doesn't look too good if someone makes it out. . . so they covered it up." Palmer made his way over to a tripod where a shotgun was situated and made a few knots in the trigger.

"What do you want from us?"

Palmer made sure the rope was secured and then made his way back to Harm.

"For you to suffer. . . I figured that me having my way with the pretty colonel over there would probably wind you up some and I decided to add more stakes to the game." He tugged at Harm's rope and made it tighter. "If you so much as move from your toes, that shot gun will go off and her life is over."

Harm and Mac both paled at the thought. As much as he would try to hang on for her sake, he knew that inevitably he'd get exhausted. "So I killed her."

Palmer nodded. "Jilted lover type of thing. . . It's a cliché, but it still is a goodie. . .I'll then make sure you spend your life rotting in Leavenworth with me."

"Please. . . do whatever you want to me, but don't hurt Mac." Harm said, watching the sadness in her eyes.

"No can do, flyboy." Palmer made it over to a small desk and opened up a letter. "A confession, just in case."

Mac opened here eyes and tried signaling to Harm. She moved sideways a much

as she could on the chair hoping that he'd figured out her plan. He watched.her motions and figured that she was going to tip over the chair. He nodded and prayed to God that he would have a clean hit at Palmer.

Palmer stood and walked over to Mac, turning the chair so that he back was facing Harm and the shot gun. "Don't want you two to think that I am in the line of fire." He said with a smirk. "Now. Where should I start?" He looked Mac up and down, a look that disgusted Mac. Yet, she waited until the right time. Once he came down to her again, she used the same tactic and managed

to slam her forehead into his. Then, with one swift move, she brought the chair to the ground making Mac groan loudly. Just as soon as she hit, a shot sailed through the air, catching Palmer on his chest and bringing him down to the ground.

Quickly, Harm began to swing his body, his arms aching from the strain. He managed to bring his legs over the beam and held on as he loosened the ropes. Once he was free, he dropped to the ground with a loud thud and made his way over to Mac. Sitting her up, he removed the tape from her mouth and then proceeded on attempting to remove the rest of her bindings. "Harm! Look

out!" She yelled as Palmer rose up behind them and jabbed a knife into Harm

's thigh.

Hey yelled loudly in pain and managed to dart his elbow back quickly and.squarely hit Palmer in the chest, bringing him down to the ground. He

stopped for a moment and removed the sharp weapon out of his thigh before turning to their assailant. Palmer took a pistol out and shot, missing Harm completely. Harm dropped over him and tried to gain control of the weapon.

Spinning over, Palmer wound up on top of Harm who was trying to flip him back again. When he did, the pistol went off once more firing a round that grazed Harm's shoulder, ricocheted off the bulk head and slammed into Mac's.chest. "NO!" Harm yelled as he mustered some sort of superhuman strength that managed to gain control on the pistol. He pulled the trigger and one shot made it through Palmer's skull killing him instantly. Harm got his bearings and managed to move off of Palmer, realizing that their first shot did not end his life because he was wearing a bulletproof vest.

Finally he staggered over to Mac finding her pale and with a quickly decreasing heartbeat. "Hang on Marine." He said gently through his tears.."Hang on."


	14. Chapter 14

Part 15

Two Days Later

1800 Zulu

Bethesda Naval Hospital

Bethesda, Maryland

Harm had been awake for only a few minutes and already his heart was beating a million miles an hour. "Harm?" Turning to look towards the door he saw AJ Chegwidden make his way into the room and sit by his side. "How you feeling?

You've been out for a couple of days."

"Is she. . . Mac?" He couldn't come out and say the words. No matter how many nightmares had told him that she had indeed been taken away from him, he hoped that he had tempted fate into keeping her alive even if it meant that she wanted nothing to do with him.

AJ took a deep breath. "She is alive. . . they don't know how but the wound was superficial."

Harm's eyes widened in shock. It couldn't be. He'd examined the wound and saw how deeply the bullet was lodged inside her. It had been a miracle that she wasn't killed instantly. "Thank God."

"Doctors said that it's nothing short of a miracle. . . she is recovering nicely, they just want to keep her here for observation. She had a pretty

bad blow to her head." AJ said, settling back into the chair.

Harm nodded. "I want to see her, sir. Make sure for myself that she is alive."

AJ shook his head. "She requested that no one be allowed to see her."

"Even you, sir?" Harm said raising his eyebrow.

"Even me."

One Month Later

December 3rd, 2003

2300 Zulu

Harm's Apartment

North of Union Station

Harm settled into his sofa comfortably. Though he had much work to do in regards to Mattie, he needed a day to settle down and relax. He hadn't

heard much from Mac since their current brush with death. The Admiral had her on mandatory down time.

He and Skates were both cleared on any charges regarding the near loss of an F-14. Bad O2 was indeed found to be the culprit and they were lucky to have survived.

Harm had spoken to the Admiral every day about Mac's whereabouts. AJ assured him that if Mac had really wanted to stay, the papers were as go as gone. AJ sympathized with him and hoped that the two would take their heads out of their sixes before it was too late.

Hearing a loud knock on the door, Harm made it across his apartment to find Mac standing on the other side. "Hey, come on in."

"Came to say thank you for saving me. . and. . . goodbye." She said, keeping her coat on as she made it into the living room. "I'm going out of

the country. . . I'll still be working for JAG. . . just not here." She stopped and took a breath as her eyes looked into his. "I'd say to keep in touch, but I guess that may not be the wisest of things."

Harm nodded. "I guess not. And you are welcome."

"I ah. . . need to . . . to tell you something." Mac watched him grab his guitar and hold onto it. There was something eerily familiar about that.

She took a ragged breath and moved closer to him, honing in on his personal space. "I love you, Harm. . . I've loved you for so long."

When he didn't say anything at all, she took it as her sign. Things were

over for real this time. The dynamic duo was no more.

"I don't want you to leave." He said, putting the guitar on his arm chair.

"I need a reason to stay." She said, her eyes meeting his.

"You know the reason."

Mac shook her head and turned to leave. Before she had a chance to, Harm grabbed her and pulled her into his embrace, kissing her lovingly. "I love you, Sarah. . . Please don't go." Their eyes were locked, and Harm cradled her in his arms as she shook her head, trying to protest. "Please. . .

Sarah. . .I'll do anything, just please stay. . . I love you so much I'd sell my soul to keep you with me."

Mac shook her head again. She had orders that she couldn't just put to rest. "But the papers. . .I leave tomorrow."

Harm smirked. "Nope. I had the Admiral put them on hold."

Her eyebrows went up and her head cocked to the side, making him chuckle. "How?"

"Apparently, there was a pool going around in the office as to when you and I would get together. The Admiral took part in it. . ." Wagging his

eyebrows, Harm grinned.

"I don't underst. . ."

Harm interrupted her. "He told me, when I went to rescue you in Paraguay what I would do to keep you. . . And I told him the day we came back from

therapy and every day since then. . . I'd do anything. . . and everything. .. I'd give you the one thing that I've feared to give anyone after Diane

died. . .

"What?" She said softly, almost afraid of his answer.

Smiling, he lowered his head down to her and spoke softly. "My heart. . ."

"Flyboy. . I." He silenced her with an index finger.

"Just promise me something."

"What?" She said dreamily, looking into this eyes.

"Don't break it."

"Never again, Flyboy. . .never again." She said with a smile and brought his head down so that she could kiss him.

Breaking the kiss, he tightened his hold on her. "So what about this past lives business?"

"I think we got a second chance on this one. . ." Grinning, she ran her hands up and down Harm's chest, needing the reassurance that this was not a dream and they belonged together.

Moving out of their embrace, Harm removed her coat and hung it up. Then he walked back to Mac and pulled her towards the sofa with him. "I need to make sure before we start planning for the future."

Mac curled up on his lap and kissed him softly again. "The future sounds nice. How do you plan to make sure?"

"I love you and you love me. . . that's enough to secure our future." He said, confident in his words and finally not afraid to say them.

"Say it again." Mac said in a dreamy voice, getting lost in his eyes as she surrendered to him.

"I love you Sarah. . ." Slowly, he lowered his head and claimed her lips, sealing his words with a kiss.

"In this lifetime and all the others. . . I love you too." She said before they once again explored their lives as lovers. And this time around tragedy didn't take them away from each other. This time, they got their happily ever after.


End file.
